R.I.P

To me...

It doesn't matter how many times before this
you've expected her to come
or show up
and she hasn't

There's no future in the past
that she's here now
that she came today
that she stayed over the night yesterday
that she helped clean up today
is all that matters

R.I.P Mr. T.L.
I've so much respect for you
And each time my tall figure hovers over the coffeemaker I smile because you taught me to make the best cup of coffee. I still hear you instruct me.

I'm glad our paths ever crossed
I'm glad yours was the first face mine met each morning i walked in
I'm glad I got to pick up the newspaper at the doorstep and hand it over to you
I'm humbled you called me a 'miracle worker' and/or 'angel' for the small things I did
I'm glad I helped

Let February end already

February. It has been a trying month to say the very least. I'll not even indulge you in what i've been through because really there's not much about it to reminiscence.

It's march! Let's just say I did pull through in one piece. Thank God for His each morning renewed mercies, sufficient grace, steadfast and unfailing love.

All I'll say is when you're down in the dumps, look up and let your help come from (God) up above. I do believe in the power of prayer. I've seen it first hand. No one knows how to pray. God listens to anyone, that much i know. In the past month there have been days I've not known where to begin in my petitions to God. I clearly remember those days I let God listen to my heart because It was all in there. I could not say it. I didn't know how(to say it in words). I was overwhelmed. So I knelt there and let God look into my heart. I didn't have to say a word and still He came through for me.

Then I always say to myself "like the previous this cloud too shall pass leaving me a better person" and in due time it does (It's just that the wait is disheartening).

I can't believe I just typed this. I'd planned on doing a rant post. But, seriously on second thoughts it's not worth it.

I hope you've a beautiful weekend!!!

You

I love the joy
the sateity of everything
between us

I love the simplicity
in our lives
the impact and fulfillment
small things bring us

I love the trust
the everyday build up on it
the prayer
it stand the test of time

I love the openness
the very act of hearts
whispering away words
only we know

I love the understanding
the communication,
in our minds and souls
regardless of the situation

I thank God for the forgiving nature
holding hands,
to jump the hurdles
no matter how high

I love the trueness
to rebuke and correct in love
the daily,
pursuit to bring out the best
in each other

I love the reality checks
that bring us back
when we hit detours

I love the godliness
the one reminder
it does take God
and prayers

Trying harder

It's always been a struggle
But did i try enough?
Have I really tried?
Am I really trying hard enough?

I sit and watch them
inside I die
I'm failing myself,
Again

I so bad want to be better than this
it stays with me for sometime
after a while it all goes away

When it comes back to me
I vow to myself
to try harder this time
then of course somewhere along the way
I let go

I look at all of them
I don't like any of them
I shrink and cringe
at their very sight

I gotta be better than this
No one can help me
but me
It starts and stops with me

I dislike them
and I won't stop no matter
what you all say
I'll only try harder

I want to try harder,
I am going to try harder
today better than i did yesterday
one day at a time

I'll put it down
push myself towards it
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me

I'll do what it takes
and sustain it
because I'll do it the right way