Thursday, December 24, 2009

My 2009

Oy! Idk where to start. This has been quite the year. As I write this the 70's show is on. I just stepped out of the shower after nursing a bad migraine all day. Now as I sip on my first drink to kick off this not so merry season it's not as chilly a blessing I'm grateful for today.

I vividly remember this time last year. I was at church for the Christmas service w a friend. On the actual Christmas day I had gone to the theater and watched Will Smith's Seven Pounds en route to a Christmas dinner w a friend's family before work that night. On New's year eve I was out of town w friends enjoying a few strawberry confusions. Now that I think about it I could really use a strawberry confusion nevermind the rum lol really anyone up for dinner at BJ's?

If there's something I've learned this year is to live life to the fullest. Cliche right? still that has been a lesson that has been reinforced over and over to the point of me yelling "I get it!!!" at the top of my lungs from too many tragedies this year :( I've gotten on my knees and prayed. I've prayed that yes I'll live today as if it were my last day (and yeah failed immensely), I'll love them more, forgive before sunset aka hold no grudges, I'll call everyone often, say I love them at the beginning of each conversation but not in a rushed way at the end, I'll hold my hand over my loved ones' mouth and say they do not need to repeat it but really I do love them and remind them how much they mean to me, I'll pray more, read my bible more, dance more, live a little more, kiss with my eyes closed, hold hands under the covers, not go to bed angry. And so I've done at least tried my best. Until that call or/and message has come and thrown me off over and over again, trusted less, the sacred has been torn from me/us and yet the world has gone on like my loved ones never lived nor existed expect to us. No fair! I digress.

Still there have been a lot more blessings like him and how he will comb the streets to find me a malt and not just the good ol' plain shake. My beloved family and friends. The perfect song for every moment, hours and hours of phone calls w my very extraordinarily loving mom, the great relationship I have w my mom, my siblings and how awesome and amazing they are, my paps because he knows to say the right thing each time we talk, a chilled glass of red, answered prayers, endless sex & the city seasons and episodes, my 2nd boyfriend tivo (oh how I love him), shoes, boots and scarfs, a shaken not stirred drink, cheerful text messages, calls that have lifted me up and loving messages, tights and long tees, my couch which I sleep on more than my bed, a walk in closet, long and passionate kisses, hugs, hugs, hugs, old-fashioned letters in the mail (ha!) a bowl of oatmeal w lemon (m'm! m'm! m'm!), readers like you, clean crisp bedsheets, good books, long walks w my Shi on the phone, great, never ending, sometimes very random conversations that have kept us up almost and even all night w my Shi, graduation and a blissful month w the folks during the summer, my zune, oh my zune how I love you lol, stupid moments, the amazing GodChicks daily steps devotional *ty to MoMo*, ahhhh facials w MoMo, great reads (posts) on your blogs, perfect fitting bras, and I could go on and on and on and never stop so please you must allow me to stop here and go no further.

Yet I'm ready for 2009 to end hoping it takes with it this year's tragedies and brings some brand new blessings upon us and ready to see 2010 turn things green again for my family and I and you too!!!

I dare not forget our fallen beloved loved ones. I'm certain w/o a doubt this Christmas you're ALL in a much much more merrier place kicking it w the angels and your souls are resting in unfathomable peace.

RIP Aunt Catherine
RIP Grandma Alice
RIP Uncle John
RIP Uncle Joe
RIP Grandma Rachel
RIP Uncle Ben
RIP Uncle Joel
RIP Cousin Ben

This is for our fallen 'soldiers' we miss you although you gone we with you...gone 'from battle field' life is so fcuking real. We don't want more funerals...don't want more burials

Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad :)

I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas & an exceedingly prosperous New Year!!!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Nipped in the bud

he left us too young
twenty days ago today
a young man so full of life
they said he lived a legacy
the poll bearers his young friends
they lifted him up in the air
said they had lost a hero
a hero he was on earth
and on his last journey on earth
he'd be so up up up they carried him
I believe they even said his swagga was UP
and that his passing was a loss to them
and the community
nipped in the bud
here today
and gone not tomorrow but today
the sacred torn from us
we felt unheld
yet we knew still we were held
gone just like that
such a young soul
full of life
so promising
they came in hundreds and hundreds
gave him the best send off
bid him farewell
hopeful to meet him across the shore

Easy like a Sunday morning

I slowly rolled
my right foot steadily on the brake
behind another
as we all lined up
all under the same sentence
a red light
headed to different places
not a clue where any of us
was coming from or was headed
for all we knew we could have been headed the place
but how could we?
all sheltered behind our windows
and doors
some windows up to keep out the chill
others down to enjoy the fresh morning air
and Sunday quiet
so nonchalant about each other's existence
still under the same sentence the red light
finally turned green
we rushed to our different destinations
some a bit hurried than others
probably not sure what the day held for us
some with plans
that would fall through
and others not
isn't such life?
such is life
c'est la vie