tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341842682024-03-05T14:40:18.249-08:00PrettylyfLife is what I make itPrettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-3574383492197133232013-12-30T03:13:00.000-08:002013-12-30T03:13:23.709-08:00Praise<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Scented candles burning</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">cuppa honey lemon green tea</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">a softly snoring lover</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">an empty glass of wine</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">a twinkling Christmas tree in a corner</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">lighting up our lil nest</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">a mind full of reminiscent thoughts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">of a year past</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">belly laughter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">tears of sorrow from loss</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">a hearty meal with family</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">desolate moments from grief</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">vacations in the sun & sand</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">sleepless nights</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">toasts to life</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">cuddles & kisses</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">stepping stones in life</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">brewing dreams</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">a beckoning end year</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">only a heart full of gratitude</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">only tears of joy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">joy unspeakable</span><br />
<br />
<br />Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-16334877647307404102013-04-09T19:56:00.003-07:002013-04-09T19:57:27.191-07:00Just Me<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">you don't know where it caves</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">just me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">understands where its bent</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">my being</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">feels where its broken</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">my steps a constant remainder </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">but me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">no one knows the weight</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">just me </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">feels the pinch</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">for all only the sight they behold</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">but me inside and out</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">everyone a myriad of thoughts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">for me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">torment and anguish</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">just me</span><br />
<br />Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-31922581193104393142013-02-02T21:02:00.001-08:002013-02-02T21:05:22.243-08:002012/13<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Wow I cannot believe I haven't blogged since September. You must all forgive my tardiness, I have had quite a bit on my plate. Nonetheless, I am back and will strive to do better in the new year.</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I remember having horrible hot flashes that forced me to step out into the ambulance bay so the night's chill would cool me down</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">At 6AM when I could no longer push myself any harder I asked the supervisor to send me home</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I got in my car and drove myself home despite dizzy swirling spells</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When I left work that early mid-April morning I had no clue almost a year later I'd still be out of work on extended sick leave</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They poked me with needles in places I didn't know existed. I fought back tears as I tightly grasped the boy's hand for dear life</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know I'm an ER nurse but I'd rather be on the giving than receiving end. And did you know nurses and doctors make the worst patients? supposedly, we know too much for our own good</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They probed me with mind boggling questions to which I had no answers</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The doctors and specialists ordered a myriad of tests and procedures that completely wiped me out</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For eight months they had no clue what was wrong. My case was presented to boards of experienced specialists who were all dumb-founded</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Finally, I was referred to two oncologists. I could feel myself slowly start to give up</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I felt lost most days and night</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I read a lot of great books during this down time. I am not even kidding you I read a book a day</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In August, the boy gave me a beautiful ring. I absolutely love it. And we couldn't be happier</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The medications stopped working and my heart got weak from palpitations</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I lost friends but made a lot of great new ones in 2012. You don't know your friends until you're sick. The true ones stuck around and am forever grateful for that</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I hated being admitted in the hospital so much in 2012</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When all else stopped working I was taken into emergency surgery</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Before, they put me under my mom was holding my hand and when I opened my eyes first thing after a 5-hour surgery my mom was the first person I saw and I couldn't stop crying</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I had a great team of doctors/surgeons/specialists/nurses. They were at my beck and call day and night. Forget professional courtesy. They were truly angels. They made sure my pain was under control and my mom was comfortable at all times</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I couldn't speak for days but I was so overwhelmed by the love and care from my mom, the boy and my girlfriends I wept day and night</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Despite being so sick I realized how blessed I truly was/am</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I mean, come on, they slit my throat and I lived</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They sheared my aorta creating a big ass hematoma that caused pressure on my spine and AGAIN, I lived!!!</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I got to spend Christmas with my most favorite person, my mom, for the first time in nine years</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My mom met the boy and the boy met my mom for the first time and they got along so great. Two of my favorite people all holiday season. Lucky girl, I know :)</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mommy has nursed me back to health with all her love and warmth and delish cooking. I have recuperated well and should be resuming work soon</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I couldn't be more blessed. I have the most caring/loving and amaze-balls parents, sibs, friends and the boy </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I did a lot of fun travelling with the boy and my mom at the end of 2012/beginning of 2013</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was great to have a lot of friends and family from across town and out of town visit with me during my hospital stays and at home</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm so grateful for the boy. He was there day and night. Despite a very demanding schedule he went through each day with me. He held my hand, rubbed my back and made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. I am truly overwhelmed by his kindness and love for me. He perfectly fit the bill when my mommy couldn't be there. He has taught me the true meaning of lifetime friendship and a great relationship</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm ready for 2013. And so far its been full of so many blessings from God. He is amazing</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A belated Happy New Year to you & yours!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />Xx,<br />PrettyLyf</span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-38361939697738195082012-09-30T01:51:00.000-07:002012-09-30T01:51:04.456-07:00Thirty-One Things<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sitting on a bed, legs crossed, sipping on a glass of red</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The summer is fading away. The leaves are changing color</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The breeze coming in from the open window behind me gently caresses my skin</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I officially did my first Fall hike this morning. I set out bright and early to brave the trail just before the sun started scorching</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its been a beautiful summer, full of lessons, love, laughter and heart stopping tears</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've gone through some significant, life changing experiences for the last six months</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh<a href="http://amo-et-odi.blogspot.com/"> Pandave</a>, I'm happy to announce I'm the proud bearer of a few new scars</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I find scars to be refreshing, they tell tales</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Silently, discreetly, sometimes invisibly</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some scars are evident to the natural eye</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Others only to the soul</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've traveled quite a bit this summer</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had the pleasure of visiting a dear friend, Rita. Our intentions were to sit at a streetside table and have lunch. But the sun and humidity forced us to sit inside in a cozy booth. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our lunch was full of candid conversations from the heart</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A quick shopping spree, if you will, and a cup of coffee hours later</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet our parting was a tear jerker</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've enjoyed a few good reads this past months</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing beats that curiosity that accompanies tearing through pages</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fall is my absolute favorite season</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have pairs of boots lined up in my closet and scarves begging to be wrapped around my neck. Yet my neck of the woods won't cool down fast enough</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Regardless of where you go, what you do, whom you become, no one beats or even comes close to family or at least my family HAHA</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A God-sent S.O. is a close second. Falafel with steak @130am. I think I chose a winner :)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm nothing without God. And everything with God</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Regardless of a very scary, heart wrenching six months full of uncertainty with joy my heart can say that never once has God left me on my own or let me walk alone. HE has been so exceedingly abundantly faithful it blows me AWAY!!!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One day while lying on a procedure table, weeping like a baby, I found out the divine meaning of unfathomable peace</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even if my loved ones were waiting JUST outside the door, they couldn't be allowed into the procedure room, they couldn't be there to hold my hand or wipe my tears</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Despite all their love and prayers, in that very moment I realized only God was/is omnipresent. And I was overcome by an overwhelming sense of peace</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my life hasn't been the same since</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No matter how long we resist it, there comes a point when you just gotta let flaky friends go</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life is beautiful. Enjoy it. One day at a time.To the very fullest and with whatever you have. Don't wait for tomorrow</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing beats a well orchestrated GNO. I can't decide if it's the silliness of laughing at nothing and everything, or sitting quietly in reflection, sharing five rolls of spicy sushi, watching a comedy show together or even just the spontaneity of it all</span></li>
</ol>
Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-64746086827659171012012-05-20T18:27:00.000-07:002012-05-20T18:27:09.664-07:00Freedom<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The breeze hits my face</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">a breath of fresh air</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">my lungs filling up</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">my feet pound against the pavement</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can't breath</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Oh yes indeed I can breath</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I push forward</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">momentarily blinded</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">not by dusk</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">from the sweat that dribbles my face</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">my heart thumps</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">violently against my chest </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">my taste buds conjuring it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I know this feeling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This what it feels like to set myself free</span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-84422735451383794492012-03-02T08:55:00.006-08:002012-03-02T09:48:34.085-08:00What makes me feel the prettiest<ul><li><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">Sitting on the rug in my living, in front of the tv, my legs crossed, enjoying an extra hot cuppa tea</span></li><li>Talking to my mom</li><li><span>The feeling of clean cool bed sheets against my body</span></li><li><span>My hair up in a bun</span></li><li><span>A clear mind</span></li><li><span>When he says "I miss you. Do you miss me?"</span></li><li><span>Clean laundry</span></li><li><span>A chilled glass of red</span></li><li><span>A spotless bathroom</span></li><li><span>A crisp cold bowl of cereal with a hint of vanilla&cinnamon</span></li><li><span>Reading a new book</span></li><li><span>How my hair feels after deep shampoo and conditioning</span></li><li><span>A day off</span></li><li><span>Hiking a trail that kicks my little behind</span></li><li><span>When our song comes on a playlist or while we are out and we drop everything and dance to it</span></li><li><span>The strength in my arms when I lift my 10lb dumb bells</span></li><li><span>The first cup of tea in the morning</span></li><li><span>Smell of lavender</span></li><li><span>A fan blowing in my face</span></li><li><span>How still my heart is when I pray or read the bible</span></li><li><span>Resonating with music</span></li></ul>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-613585262423271572012-02-27T01:43:00.006-08:002012-02-27T01:55:58.335-08:00Lover of my soul<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">My heart beats for you</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">it aches for you</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">my thoughts slow down without you</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">my eyes well up with tears for you</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">the beat picks up in anticipation</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">my arms long for yours</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">my stomach turns, the acid in it churns</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">my brain refuses to comprehend</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">the time as it lingers</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I long for you</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">another second, day, week</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">sheets entangle my body, tosses and turns</span><br style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">My heart refuses to go on without you</span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-50753982750538746532011-10-20T19:51:00.000-07:002011-10-20T20:43:06.200-07:00Believe<span class="Apple-style-span" >You better believe we cry</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >we break</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >we hurt</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >we are torn</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >but tears become strength</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >the broken are mended</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >the torn are rebuilt</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >and you better believe</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >we get up</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >and the sun it shines again</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >and the sorrow it fades into the horizon with the rain</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >you best believe it</span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-9636741362559415962011-10-20T19:50:00.001-07:002011-10-20T19:51:14.199-07:00Phew<span class="Apple-style-span" >For a second or two there I couldn't remember my password :( So glad I did because I think am up to blogging after going AWOL</span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-50198763782576501972011-03-12T23:50:00.001-08:002011-03-13T01:18:25.237-08:00Kicking death BUTT IN<span class="Apple-style-span" >I cannot quite recall the first time I lost a patient. Lost meaning death. But what I do recall is the stench of death. You might not believe it but even death has a very distinct aura. I have lost many patients along my career path and yes it is sad but I have also somewhat adapted to it and thus it has almost become second nature. Yes I concur it is strange. And I do not expect you to comprehend this.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >So imagine my surprise this past week when death immensely shook me and not only that but kept me up all night. So up I stayed and went to bed when daylight finally returned. I could not get the death of this one patient out of my head. I kept re-living it in my head. And each time I felt the hairs on my neck stand up and my stomach turned upside down.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >The death bug struck me back to back on Tuesday and again on Wednesday. On Thursday surprisingly given my sleep-deprived state I was in the clear. Little did I know death would rear its ugly face once again as if in an attempt to make it my worst week yet like it hadn't already.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >But come Friday I was ready for it. How you ask? when the paramedics transported my patient upon assessment I noticed he was already starting to <a href="http://dying.about.com/od/thedyingprocess/a/process.htm">mottle</a> meaning he was actively dying. I stood by the wife of 65 years as she held his hand and whispered how she loved him in death. She left shortly after tightly grasping my hand and begging me to ensure he did not suffer. So when he started to struggle for air and hold his breath I stood by him and rubbed his head. Rubbing his head I gently sung (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Is_Well_with_My_Soul">It is well</a>) close to his ear. Peacefully he stopped struggling for air and stopped breathing as life escaped him. As his body grew cold I couldn't help thinking his wife's wish had come true, he had not suffered. I simultaneously glanced at my watch for the time of death as I called the wife to inform her of his passing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >So yes I kicked death's ass by being at peace as my patient headed to the after life. My neck hairs did not stand this time but I was overwhelmed and in an unfathomable haze of both confusion and clarity as I subconsciously marveled at how the line between life and death is not just thin but faint.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >Working in an environment where death is constantly imminent has taught me that life is much more shorter than we perceive it to be. At the risk of sounding cliche it has taught me to not just live a little but really live life.</span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-26465810576718745862011-01-16T19:28:00.000-08:002011-01-16T19:30:18.256-08:00Gratitude<span class="Apple-style-span" >I lift my hands</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >up high in praise</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" >I thank YOU Lord</span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-80054675138913106792010-11-18T23:57:00.000-08:002010-11-19T00:12:57.021-08:00Emptiness<div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >I clutch my belly</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >bent over </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >distorted in anguish</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >pain is my name</span></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >my hut has burned down</span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >my stream run dry</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >stones pelted at me</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >my soul is sorrowful</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >boils afflict my body</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >tears scorch my face</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >no shade on my back</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >darkness has overtaken</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" > me</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" >I have nothing</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-91411223558866881642010-10-05T14:52:00.000-07:002010-10-05T15:02:14.274-07:00Courage Is fear that has said its prayers<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">Up </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">its quiet dark night</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">no peace of mind</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">hanging by a thread</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">spiraling down</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">stomach churns</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">mind boggles</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">tears sting</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">the sky is bare</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">but no moon</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">daylight peeks</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">yet no sunlight</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">scared</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">am I failing?</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;"></span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-74165971146353678582010-09-13T15:57:00.000-07:002010-09-14T23:43:28.595-07:00Untitled<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I hoped your departure</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">it would halt time</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">that the once green leaves</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">wouldn't turn gold so soon</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">that the recently clean streets</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">wouldn't be covered in snow</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">once innocent now</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">defiled by the winds</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">and chill</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">the kids playing the yards</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">now only a vague memory</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">fading quickly into the horizon</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">the bright colorful days</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">now threatened by looming dark clouds full of rain</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I prayed that you would forget us</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">let us catch our breathe</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">move on to a different place</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">and away from us</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">but you returned</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">too soon</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">stealing from us again</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">leaving us where you first left us</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">robbed, scared and alone</span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-11622135404359972152010-08-06T04:42:00.001-07:002010-08-06T05:16:25.055-07:00My Neighbors From Hell<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">You know that new show -Neighbors from Hell- ? well guess what? I'm living it! My neighbors are definitely out to get me and make my life as miserable as possible. You know the kind that make you not look forward to coming home from work even after one of those days? yea those. The kind that makes you gag a little in your mouth every time they walk by you because really how can they be so mean for absolutely no apparent reason. The kind that makes you want to move out and pay for a vacant apartment while living elsewhere. Because peace is of absolute importance to you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">What and where is home I ask? the place where the heart is? cliche but true. For most of us it is the place where our loved ones both family and friends are. While for some of us who are away from home it is that place that we turn into our little haven. The place where we escape to after a long 10hr shift of wearing the overpriced danskos that are supposed to give you back relief but really why are my heels and soles blistered and what is that ache that wasn't there yesterday. It's that peaceful place where you leave the world's troubles at the door and indulge yourself. It might be some soothing music, reading a book, a long shower, a bubble bath, a chilled glass of red at 9am because here in your little haven you make the rules. And who ever said we all don't have a lil French in us? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">So when your little haven suddenly turns into a place you don't find peace and find yourself in. When it becomes a place where you can no longer lose yourself only to find yourself in time for the next shift. If that place becomes somewhere you don't look forward to going. If it makes you comb the streets for a spot instead of your assigned spot in the back. Then something is very wrong and it needs to be rectified with urgency. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">And so that is why instead of coming home after a long shift at work and going to sleep I've been driving around looking for a new place and scheduling back to back viewings. I guess after living in one place for so long I forgot how finding a new place is a whole other job. I forgot how hard it is to find all the amenities you desire in one place. Like how a place can have a sauna, two year round heated pools and not have a dishwasher is beyond me or how it can have a dishwasher, patio, sauna, pool and not have a washer/dryer on site. Or how it can have everything I'm looking for and yet be a downstairs unit. Really how can I not feel like the universe has ganged up against me? I need to move by early September. Its taken everything in me this far to not use a few or very many choice words and tell 'em off. Its taking the little peace I have left after work. And I do not want to. I refuse to live here a day longer than I should. I want out. I want my peace. I want my quiet. I want to reclaim my safe, peaceful, quiet haven all over again because I deserve it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">So pray for me my dear readers. Pray for me to find a place soon and to start the moving process.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-34605526119397135502010-08-06T04:42:00.000-07:002010-08-06T05:16:00.674-07:00My Neighbors From Hell<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You know that new show -Neighbors from Hell- ? well guess what? I'm living it! My neighbors are definitely out to get me and make my life as miserable as possible. You know the kind that make you not look forward to coming home from work even after one of those days? yea those. The kind that makes you gag a little in your mouth every time they walk by you because really how can they be so mean for absolutely no apparent reason. The kind that makes you want to move out and pay for a vacant apartment while living elsewhere. Because peace is of absolute importance to you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What and where is home I ask? the place where the heart is? cliche but true. For most of us it is the place where our loved ones both family and friends are. While for some of us who are away from home it is that place that we turn into our little haven. The place where we escape to after a long 10hr shift of wearing the overpriced danskos that are supposed to give you back relief but really why are my heels and soles blistered and what is that ache that wasn't there yesterday. It's that peaceful place where you leave the world's troubles at the door and indulge yourself. It might be some soothing music, reading a book, a long shower, a bubble bath, a chilled glass of red at 9am because here in your little haven you make the rules. And who ever said we all don't have a lil French in us? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So when your little haven suddenly turns into a place you don't find peace and find yourself in. When it becomes a place where you can no longer lose yourself only to find yourself in time for the next shift. If that place becomes somewhere you don't look forward to going. If it makes you comb the streets for a spot instead of your assigned spot in the back. Then something is very wrong and it needs to be rectified with urgency. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And so that is why instead of coming home after a long shift at work and going to sleep I've been driving around looking for a new place and scheduling back to back viewings. I guess after living in one place for so long I forgot how finding a new place is a whole other job. I forgot how hard it is to find all the amenities you desire in one place. Like how a place can have a sauna, two year round heated pools and not have a dishwasher is beyond me or how it can have a dishwasher, patio, sauna, pool and not have a washer/dryer on site. Or how it can have everything I'm looking for and yet be a downstairs unit. Really how can I not feel like the universe has ganged up against me? I need to move by early September. Its taken everything in me this far to not use a few or very many choice words and tell 'em off. Its taking the little peace I have left after work. And I do not want to. I refuse to live here a day longer than I should. I want out. I want my peace. I want my quiet. I want to reclaim my safe, peaceful, quiet haven all over again because I deserve it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So pray for me my dear readers. Pray for me to find a place soon and to start the moving process.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-85744100479040957582010-05-27T17:45:00.000-07:002010-06-04T14:22:22.538-07:00Is Chivalry DEAD!?!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Lately, I seem to have the unfortunate knack to run into men who're 'interested' in me. And by interested I mean we've never met, I don't know them, they don't know me, they've probably not even seen my face just my back and boom they like me. Woe is me. They say they want to take me out to dinner, for coffee, drinks and even to church. Really church? because I'm having doubts God would approve.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span><div><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">I want to ask all my female readers, has any of you ever had to tell the marriage fib to get out of a man pursuing you? marriage fib here meaning that you're single, and by single you could or could not be in a relationship but definitely not married. So there's this guy showing some interest and to shut him down and/or the only way to get out of it is saying you're married and even then your been married is not enough because men nowadays cannot take a no for a no and despite telling them you're married gets them more interested? I mean someone please tell what in the world is going on? One even had the nerve to tell me I didn't have a married woman's voice. Pardon my ignorance but how exactly do married women talk?</span></span></div></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">The other had the nerve to want to hang out with my significant other and I to prove the fact that I am indeed 'taken'? the other the nerve to offer me a warm can of natural light beer he pulled out of a black plastic bag. I mean really? what happened to men respecting the fact that a woman is taken and/or not interested and taking that as a hint to back off? have days evolved that much? are men not men enough to take no for an answer? does it have anything to do with those who have preceded us? might they have said no and meant yes thus giving men the idea that when we say no in reality we mean yes ? or is chivalry indeed dead?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">I'd want to say it's not dead based on personal judgement e.g. the other day I'm cruising the parking lot where all spots were taken and this guy was loading up his car and had a few more trips to make between the car and his apartment. And when he noticed my futile attempts to find a spot he offered to move his car to a 20 minute spot and gave me his spot. I mean if that is not a perfect example of a gentlemen I don't know what is. A sign that chivalry just might not be dead. Not all the way, at least not for me. Yet I know such incidences are far and in between. Still better half a loaf than not?</span></span></div></div></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-86712080012297025652010-05-02T14:37:00.001-07:002010-05-06T17:38:19.272-07:00Cancer Scare<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Just a quick update to let everyone know I had the lump checked out. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It has been a very scary time for my loved ones and me. I did gather some strength and went in with my best person. When we went for the first appointment the doctor who checked it literally freaked out and wrote me an <a href="http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=breastus">ultrasound </a>STAT order. Of course her freaking out freaked me out even more. So I immediately scheduled an appointment and went in. And the radiologist who read the results freaked out and broke <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><a href="http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/">HIPPA</a></span> by letting me know on the phone that it "looked bad" and the oncology team was considering a </span></span><a href="http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=mammo"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">mammogram</span></a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">. Unless, one has a history of breast cancer, mammograms are not recommended at </span><a href="http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Detection/mammograms"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">25</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The other thing is that whichever doctor I went to see, or/and radiologist kept asking my age and shaking their head in utter disbelief at how and why this could be happening at my age. One doctor informed me cases such as mine didn't occur often. However, she had diagnosed a 25y.o. with breast cancer before. This only made me more miserable and very scared for my life. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The ultrasound results came back indicating not one lump, but two. Uhm excuse me? And not just a mere lump but one they called a complicated cyst and the other a complex mass. And sans to say my life came to a sudden halt, I didn't eat, I couldn't construct a sentence without choking up. Mentally, I started to 'put things in order' just in case this was it. Not much to put in order though for the lack of an estate at the mere age of 25, but hey if shoes could actually make up an estate then I just might have had quite a bit to do :)</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The surprising thing? I did not once think "why me?" (well, not literally) instead I thought why not me, why someone else. I told myself, if my going through this meant saving someone else from going through it then let it be. But then I thought hey I was just 25 and barely starting to live life, that condo I wanted, those M<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">anolo</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Blahniks</span>, and that dress, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">omg</span> that dress and the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">vacay</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">c'mmon</span> really God at 25? couldn't God have waited. Then, I started to question. How did God decide who go it and who didn't and what he went off of? did it matter what you had already gone through in life? in terms of struggles or/and even accomplishments? because if He had first checked with me (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">lol</span>) then I think I've been through quite a bit, struggle wise, which should be enough for a lifetime and I'm just starting to meet my goals in life accomplishment-wise so shouldn't I at least stick around and enjoy the labor of my hard work?. I felt anything and everything there was to feel. Literally, went through the emotional <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">rollercoaster</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">fyi</span> it's very bumpy, don't try it :)</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">Going by the ultrasound results, the doctor explained, to make an official diagnosis I needed to undergo </span><a href="http://breastcancer.about.com/od/breastbiopsy/p/cnb.htm"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">a core biopsy with a needle guided biopsy</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">. So my best person and I got to it, we scheduled it and went in, holding our breathes, praying and hoping for the best. We go in and the technologist says my best person cannot come to the procedure room and my heart stops. How can he not? I couldn't possibly do this alone. Even if I couldn't see his face, I wanted to know he was in the room with me and I'd feel his presence. I waited for the doctor and asked his 'permission' and he said yes and sent the technologist to get him :) and I immediately relaxed. I couldn't believe it, I didn't believe it was going to be ok and so I needed one of the people in my life who did to be there and believe for me. </span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:130%;">The doctor went in and started with the needle guided </span><a href="http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002216.htm"><span style="font-size:130%;">aspiration</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"> on the complicated cyst. I was positioned in a way that I could look at the screen and see the cyst and mass and watch as the needle went in. So I watch as the doc pokes the complicated cyst and it disappears. Oh glory. Sigh. And then he said before he could perform the core biopsy he needed to poke the mass to ensure it also wasn't a cyst. And what do you know he poked it and it disappeared too. </span></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What do you know? both lesions were cysts. I've a big ol' ugly scar on my right tata but that's nothing to pay or even compare to the monster diagnosis. So yes I took my aspiration scar that sometimes hurts as hell and ran for dear life. It was a sign for me to start anew in life, to live right, to love without holding back, to kiss with my eyes closed, to feng shui anything that was holding me back in my life, to try harder and a little more everyday. I'm trying :)</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Thank you, dear readers, for wishing me well. Thinking me happy thoughts, and 'holding' my hand through it all.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Last BUT not in way LEAST, please, my female readers do your monthly <a href="http://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/guide/breast-self-exam">SBE</a> and to my male readers encourage your loveds one to do them. Early detection saves lives!!!</span></span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-41098020484585496292010-03-21T01:26:00.000-07:002010-03-21T01:45:55.144-07:00Cancer<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:130%;">I was 12 years old when my grandma died of <a href="http://www.emedicinehealth.com/lymphoma/article_em.htm">lymphoma cancer</a>. I remember what great a woman she was. In the years preceding her death I remember how she had gone from the strong woman she had once been physically and mentally to a woman who was in and out of the hospital and clinics for chemo and follow ups. I remember all the pills she took. I remember how the doctors had tried different treatments, how the family had converged to agree upon what path to take after one treatment after the other failed. I remember my grandma telling us we were not to cry once she was no more. I remember her hair falling off. I remember the way she keep the food down an emesis basin always by her bed because of how often she threw up.<br /><br />I remember it all like it was yesterday because its what lead me into the healthcare field. I had a burning passion to learn more about what was wrong with her, how I could help, how to say the right things (therapeutically), what to do and when to do it. I remember wanting to make my grandma feel ok, wanting to take it all away. Vowing oncology would be my specialty. Taking an interest in it during my rotations. I remember how my heart has broken with every oncology patient who has been under my care.<br /><br />Yesterday I found a lump on my right breast it was the last thing I expected. Why me? why not me? I've not been the same since. I worry. I zone out. I'm here and not here. Tears keep flooding my eyes. Do I want to know? should I be worried this much? will it really end up been the monster or just a false alarm?<br /><br />Emotions are boiling in me. Spilling out of me. I cannot put into words my worry. I cannot sleep. I cannot tell my family because they will worry too much and what if it turns out to be nothing. But what if it turns out to be something?<br /><br />I'm taking this opportunity to encourage all of your my dear readers to perform your monthly <a href="http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_How_to_perform_a_breast_self_exam_5.asp">SBE (Self Breast Exam)</a></span><br /></span>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-65957051007322837452010-02-22T21:38:00.000-08:002010-02-22T23:02:05.529-08:00It is going to be well because we are HELD<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Because I couldn't possibly share with you my sorrow of losing yet another loved one. Lately all I write about here is death. And today I have no strength to even consider writing a poem. But I did read the history behind the song- It is well- about the man </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Horatio Spafford and how he first lost his only son and then in an effort to get his four daughters away from the grief and sorrow he put them on a boat to England only to lose them. I cannot imagine his sorrow or even compare it to what my family and I are feeling because we all grieve differently. And then there is Natalie Grant's song -Held- in which she sings about her friend who loses two loved ones in a span of 48hrs. Stop and think of it. How sorrowful it must have been and I bet still is. How the world must have span out of control for her friend. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As a healthcare professional I am well aware of the five stages of grieving. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When you lose a loved one you wonder if its ever going to get better, wonder how life could possibly go on without them, and you are angry at the world and life and even people for going on unscathed like nothing happened. And this is what causes as to linger in one grieving stage than the other or all together skip denial, anger and bargaining and just shoot straight for depression. They say time heals wounds but only to a certain extent. For example in my family's case we were just starting to 'heal' by coming into terms </span></span><a href="http://prettylyf.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-2009.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">with all our losses in the past year</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. And then boom time has found a way to wound us over.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: medium;">It is hard to even try to conceive the very idea that it is well or could be well in the end. The sacred has been torn from us over and over. But believe us we might not we are still HELD. It is very hard to believe that right now believe me but I believe in God and despite feeling forgotten I know He remembers us. I don't even believe that right now yet I do. Confusing huh? I know but that's how I feel right now. I just want God to remember us and make it stop. All these deaths, all these funerals...exceedingly exhausting and overwhelming physically, mentally, socially and in so many other ways on so many different levels.<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></span></div></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-87790622563241549362010-02-01T20:13:00.000-08:002010-02-01T20:51:43.253-08:002010<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Not much to write home about. But I'd like to;</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Untie my tennies laces instead of kicking 'em off because when I have to got running the next day I still have to do it. Which by the way at that point is double work because at said point I not only have to untie I have to tie too. Silly but true</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Cook more & eat out less</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Eat out at those little on the street very cozy and intimate restaurants and cafes more w great company</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Not take a rain check on dessert</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Do all the little things that make me happy e.g. paint cellphone green (hi little (: ) and a cuppa green tea at 1am that will keep me awake for the rest of the night</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Deliriously read all my glamour issues cover to cover</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Make the bed when I wake up in the morning instead of trying to make it right before bed when half asleep</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Crawl into bed earlier</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Make it ok to put the one song I love on heavy rotation all day long</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dance around naked in my apartment</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sing out loud in the shower regardless of how tuneless I might be (and always are)</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Run in the rain</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Go hiking more often</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Live a little more with each new day</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Make the present count the most</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Make more diary/journal entries for when dementia kicks in LOL</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Strive to go to church every Sunday</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Drink more water</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Live for God in most areas of my life as is humanly possible</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Kiss with my eyes closed (I always do. Oops did I just kiss and tell?)</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Read more of my favorite blogs</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Rita thank you for the music paper in March. If I never said it here it is now very 'fashionably' late but still here. Thank you, thank you, thank you</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Pandave dear those adorable comments you leave are what makes me want to come back and do more entries. You're far too kind :)</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sit on the steps w Rita and talk about all the random things our little minds can possibly conceive (which would seriously surprise you much)</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Read a good book. People its been eons since I did. Please make suggestions.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Read the WHOLE bible in a year or less :)</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Find a way to be happy as I do my laundry. But even better would be if I could 'curse' less under my breath as I fold and put them away.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Pick out outfits independent of whether or not they need ironing. Ironing has always been the biggest determining factor</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">And the list is endless so I'll be back when I remember the rest</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In the meantime pray with me Haiti heals</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I hope y'all having a happy new year so far and all the very best in everything and in all areas of your life</span></span></li></ul></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-18551191823901328262009-12-24T17:33:00.000-08:002009-12-24T18:54:58.201-08:00My 2009<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Oy! Idk where to start. This has been quite the year. As I write this the 70's show is on. I just stepped out of the shower after nursing a bad migraine all day. Now as I sip on my first drink to kick off this not so merry season it's not as chilly a blessing I'm grateful for today.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I vividly remember this time last year. I was at church for the Christmas service w a friend. On the actual Christmas day I had gone to the theater and watched Will Smith's Seven Pounds en route to a Christmas dinner w a friend's family before work that night. On New's year eve I was out of town w friends enjoying a few strawberry confusions. Now that I think about it I could really use a strawberry confusion nevermind the rum lol really anyone up for dinner at BJ's?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If there's something I've learned this year is to live life to the fullest. Cliche right? still that has been a lesson that has been reinforced over and over to the point of me yelling "I get it!!!" at the top of my lungs from too many tragedies this year :( I've gotten on my knees and prayed. I've prayed that yes I'll live today as if it were my last day (and yeah failed immensely), I'll love them more, forgive before sunset aka hold no grudges, I'll call everyone often, say I love them at the beginning of each conversation but not in a rushed way at the end, I'll hold my hand over my loved ones' mouth and say they do not need to repeat it but really I do love them and remind them how much they mean to me, I'll pray more, read my bible more, dance more, live a little more, kiss with my eyes closed, hold hands under the covers, not go to bed angry. And so I've done at least tried my best. Until that call or/and message has come and thrown me off over and over again, trusted less, the sacred has been torn from me/us and yet the world has gone on like my loved ones never lived nor existed expect to us. No fair! I digress.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Still there have been a lot more blessings like him and how he will comb the streets to find me a malt and not just the good ol' plain shake. My beloved family and friends. The perfect song for every moment, hours and hours of phone calls w my very extraordinarily loving mom, the great relationship I have w my mom, my siblings and how awesome and amazing they are, my paps because he knows to say the right thing each time we talk, a chilled glass of red, answered prayers, endless sex & the city seasons and episodes, my 2nd boyfriend tivo (oh how I love him), shoes, boots and scarfs, a shaken not stirred drink, cheerful text messages, calls that have lifted me up and loving messages, tights and long tees, my couch which I sleep on more than my bed, a walk in closet, long and passionate kisses, hugs, hugs, hugs, old-fashioned letters in the mail (ha!) a bowl of oatmeal w lemon (m'm! m'm! m'm!), readers like you, clean crisp bedsheets, good books, long walks w my Shi on the phone, great, never ending, sometimes very random conversations that have kept us up almost and even all night w my Shi, graduation and a blissful month w the folks during the summer, my zune, oh my zune how I love you lol, stupid moments, the amazing GodChicks daily steps devotional *ty to MoMo*, ahhhh facials w MoMo, great reads (posts) on your blogs, perfect fitting bras, and I could go on and on and on and never stop so please you must allow me to stop here and go no further.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yet I'm ready for 2009 to end hoping it takes with it this year's tragedies and brings some brand new blessings upon us and ready to see 2010 turn things green again for my family and I and you too!!!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I dare not forget our fallen beloved loved ones. I'm certain w/o a doubt this Christmas you're ALL in a much much more merrier place kicking it w the angels and your souls are resting in unfathomable peace.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Aunt Catherine</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Grandma Alice</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Uncle John</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Uncle Joe</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Grandma Rachel</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Uncle Ben </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Uncle Joel</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RIP Cousin Ben</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is for our fallen 'soldiers' we miss you although you gone we with you...gone 'from battle field' life is so fcuking real. We don't want more funerals...don't want more burials</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad :)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas & an exceedingly prosperous New Year!!!</span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-48046572382665868042009-12-13T14:54:00.000-08:002009-12-13T15:07:11.726-08:00Nipped in the bud<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">he left us too young</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">twenty days ago today</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">a young man so full of life</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">they said he lived a legacy</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">the poll bearers his young friends</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">they lifted him up in the air</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">said they had lost a hero</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">a hero he was on earth</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and on his last journey on earth</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">he'd be so up up up they carried him</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I believe they even said his swagga was UP</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and that his passing was a loss to them</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and the community</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">nipped in the bud</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">here today</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and gone not tomorrow but today</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">the sacred torn from us</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">shattered</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">broken</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">we felt unheld</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">yet we knew still we were held</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">gone just like that</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">such a young soul</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">full of life</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">so promising</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">they came in hundreds and hundreds</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">gave him the best send off</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">bid him farewell</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">hopeful to meet him across the shore</span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-78257986375814094142009-12-13T14:35:00.000-08:002009-12-13T14:50:33.417-08:00Easy like a Sunday morning<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I slowly rolled </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">my right foot steadily on the brake</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">behind another</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">as we all lined up</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">all under the same sentence </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">a red light</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">headed to different places</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">not a clue where any of us</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">was coming from or was headed</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">for all we knew we could have been headed the place</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">but how could we?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">all sheltered behind our windows</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and doors</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">some windows up to keep out the chill</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">others down to enjoy the fresh morning air </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and Sunday quiet</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">so nonchalant about each other's existence</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">still under the same sentence the red light</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">finally turned green</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">we rushed to our different destinations</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">some a bit hurried than others</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">probably not sure what the day held for us</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">some with plans </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">that would fall through</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and others not</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">isn't such life?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">such is life</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">c'est la vie</span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34184268.post-70591384959890508232009-10-08T19:52:00.000-07:002009-10-08T20:19:12.424-07:00Oh Misery<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">oh me woman of little little faith</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">when did i start to falter</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">when did i start to believe less in myself</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">when did i stop hoping</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and trusting</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and having that convinced beyond a doubt feeling</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">when did i stop been that woman</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">who holds her head up high </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">as she shovels sand against the tides</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">when oh when did i allow myself</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">to wallow in doubt</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and, oh! i've been down this road before</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">where my faith</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">it turned into disbelief</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">and now as doubt sneaks up on me</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">i refuse to get caught again</span></span></div>Prettylyfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04659893554514055605noreply@blogger.com3