Wednesday, December 19, 2007

How friendships are formed

I want to write this in a poem but don't know how. Therefore, I'm doing a post...

Friends and for the part real friends are hard to find. I mean they don't come easy. You don't just pick them beside the road, or in the bathroom while touching up on your make-up, or in class b/c your highlighter just ran out and the professor is giving the final's review, or in a restaurant when your friends and theirs don't show up and they or you end up sharing a table. You do get the picture where am going with this. Yet all thesituations I just mentioned could be the very beginning of lifetime friendships and/or relationships or stepping stones to better things/places in life

At some point during college I had to change from one cohort to another. The first morning of class is deeply etched in my mind. Saying I was devastated butchers how I felt. I remember calling my moms and crying on the phone minutes before I walked into class. I just wasn't ready to start all over again. I was broken that I was going to be the new girl in class and that I had to start from scratch. Funny, I should post about it b/c just on Monday night I was reminiscing about the months I've been through as this year nears its close. Anyway, I joined the new cohort and made new friends but there's always that one who you get along with better. At first it was simply about carpooling, going to the same place during lunch breaks, confirming assignments with one another. Then, before we noticed it we had moved on to inviting each other to our houses, doing dinner, meeting each other's friends and families, hanging out. When I flashback to the first morning of class with the new cohort I realize how much sans to say this friendship has grown

This morning said friend broke down and indulged me in what she went through with her family this past weekend. It's sad. She's disappointed and broken. I sat there and didn't know what was right to do or say. It was one of those situations where you're not only at a loss of words but even as your hand itches to reach out and touch to comfort it feels too heavy to lift. Or may be suddenly you feel like it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I mean you've not been in such a situation before so how can you relate? but she's your friend and you can see what the situation has done to her. I expressed my empathy to her

I don't know what am saying or where am going with this. In my heart am praying and hoping my friend finds a balance in all this. That she finds more strength and it makes her a better and wiser person. I hope she's back to her real self soon. I hope e'ryday she finds strength to feel less disappointment and the brokeneness goes away

I hope and pray despite all this she still has a merry xmas and enjoys the holidays

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A Heart's Ache

The streets are abandoned
cars safely tucked in parking spots
and garages
laughter finds its way into the empty streets
laughter from houses filled
with warmth from family and friends
in feasting
You and I torn apart by the distance
tears tease to spill from my eyes
I choke and cough to stop them
stop this feeling that consumes me and takes residence in me
I'm thinking of you
In my mind, soul, and heart
am grateful for the days and nights we've been together,
the times we've shared
cherished and savored
in this cold and sadness that now resides in me
our memories keep me warm
memories of times we've dined and wined together
of times we've hugged and kissed
of moments we've bopped our heads in rhythm to music that has grown on us
so today despite our been far far apart
I want you to know that I've never loved you more
I tap strength from this aloneness
In spirit we're together
You're sitted right here beside me
We're cuddling and smiling at the joy of being together
we're holding hands
we're hugging really tight as though our lives depended on it
we're saluting each other with a click of our wine glasses