Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Un Prospero Ano Nuevo 2009

The title translates from spanish to english as "Have a prosperous new year 2009" which is what am wishing all of you

I'm not one to do a post. Period. Let alone an end year one. But again just like the post below one today seems uncharacteristically apropos. This is not a new year's resolution post. I don't do those LOL

08 was a great year for me. Depending on how you look at it.

I hadn't planned on typing up this. But as I do a couple of my guy friends are sprawled on couches playing some PS games and sipping on some heineken. In a few hours we will all suit up and hit some new year's eve party at Hollywood. Red carpet too I might add. Hey, I can brag it's my blog. LOL jk. But seriously I don't get to do posts that often. Not because I can't but because I can't write. Period. My sentence construction sucks. I digress.

I'd like to sit here and complain how bad a year 08 was. But guess what?! I won't because it wasn't. I made it to the last day of the year. And as I sit here am overwhelmed with gratitude by how much God has done for me and how gracious, awesome, loving and merciful He has been. He has protected me and provided for me, la familia and friends.

I've had my downs alright. Hit the bottom and thought that was going to be it. But no it hasn't because right around each corner a light has shone so bright it has thrown me off. Then I've recollected, regrouped and counted my blessings from God. So above all else am grateful to God with all my soul, mind and heart for all He has done. And trust me I can't even come close to saying it all.

Secondly, my moms and siblings. Thank you for been the awesomest family. I love you with all of me and would not trade you for the world.

Thirdly, the bff, you know yourself. Those nights and days. The vacay. Here's to more to come.

My friends Sandra & fam and Suze and la familia. Rita for been such a great friend. Y'all rock and then some. I'd like to name each last one of the angels and friends God has put in my life. But I can't. But you known what the great thing is? God knows each one of you by name. So I'm sending a special prayer up for you tonight for a thousand fold blessings to befall you in the year to come in a few hours or already here depending on your time zone. I love you all.

Thank you so much, God

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas at Grams

I'm back to working the night shift and I love it.

This morning I sat in the lounge sipping on a cup of green tea awaiting the am shift to come and take over. Somehow I managed to sit myself right in front of the calendar which in all its glory and magnificence paraded the month of December for me to spectate on. I wasn't a happy spectator to say the least because it had not only been one of those nights at work but also because Christmas ceased to be my best time of the year a while back.

But as I sat there as if to spite me Christmas memories haunted me. And as much as am not one to do a Christmas post. This time one seems uncharacteristically apropos.

Growing up as a kid Christmas was big. I vacillate between the reasons why Christmas was so infamous back then. Besides Jesus been the reason for the season, of course. Not to mention the two new outfits. One for Christmas day and the other for Boxing day (12/26) But also that whatever my siblings and I had wanted and could not get throughout the year now suddenly seemed so easy to coax out of the folks. Now that it was Christmas.

I remember us bringing out the tree from the storage and putting it up along with all the other Christmas decor. As soon as the tree was up and running so was the Christmas music whose crooning filled up every corner of the house and the warmth that escaped the oven from all the baking that went on in the kitchen. It was all merry, good cheer, laughter, giggles and fuzziness. The house phone also seemed to ring off the hook from everyone calling to convey their season greetings. Cards wishing us a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year arrived in the mail from family and friends. During the Christmas season we were also allowed to play outside a while longer than other days.

The week before Christmas my siblings and I would be glued in front of the TV eagerly awaiting the weather forecast session that usually followed after the day's News. So anxious were we to find out if it'd rain on the sacred day or would the gods of nature grace us with sunshine.

We'd leave the city country-bound for Grams house on the eve of Christmas. Grams house was the place to be over Christmas you see. After all, all the cousins would be there and the aunts and uncles as well. Grams had the Christmas feast planned and the festivities would be underway the minute we pulled in. Plenty to eat and drink and a lot of games to play with the cousins made it that much better.

But nothing lasts forever and so our childhood didn't because at some point we grew up. And life got in the way of everyone been available to converge together at Grams on Christmas day. All of a sudden other plans seemed more important and going to Grams took the back seat. Surely, she and grandpa would understand. After all we had been going nonstop and back to back all those years. We'd make a point to go the next year or as soon as things were less hectic we promised. Like that was ever going to happen. As if it wasn't enough to break the Christmas tradition, Grams passed away early this year. I'm certain Christmas will not be the same with her gone. Not like I saw her in the last couple of years but because despite how far away I was during Christmas I always made a point to call. My friends laugh when they scroll my phone book and see I've my Grams and Grandpa's cellphone number.

Still I'll call and wish Grandpa a Merry Christmas. He must be lonely *sigh* but he is a strong man and am sure just like every year for the past 70 plus years he will wake up and go to mass. Oh, grandpa, I love you and pray for God to be your strength and solace

So those are my Christmas memories. What are yours?

Oh yeah this year am working on Christmas day so I'll probably come home, shower, crawl under the covers and sleep away the day. The last time I worked on Christmas day was in 2005 so it should be interesting.

Merry Christmas!!!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Hope. Oh Hope

what are you?
are you what allows me to cry
or the one who regroups me
Oh hope was it you
who kept me going the other day
for a better tomorrow
which one are you
the strength in me
or the holding on
without giving up
Oh hope
was that you the other night
when I could not fall asleep
you held me in your arms through the night
was it you today
when I was unsure of myself
you stayed with me until the beauty of certainty dawned on me
Oh hope
are you my reminder
when I forget
which one are you
the courage to face tomorrow
or the triumph that I made it through another day
Oh hope
are you what holds me
when all else falls through

or the one who lets it all fall apart
for it to fall back together
which one are you
the one I cry to
or the one who wipes my tears
Oh hope
are you the one who reminds me it will turn out right
or the one who makes everything alright
which one are you
the guardian angel
or the true friend
Oh hope
are you the one who lifts my heart up when am sad
or the one who tells the jokes so I can stay happy
what are you
the singing
or dancing

or both
Oh hope
are you the one who lit up the skies last night
or the one who shed light upon my path
which one are you
the prayer answered
or the one kneeling by the bedside in prayer
Oh hope
was it you
you who provided when I was convinced I'd go without
or the one who made a way

which one are you
the one set of footprints in the sand
that carries me when I cannot walk
or the extra set of footprints
that walks with me all the while
which one are you

my cry for help
or the help that comes to me
Oh hope
are you what finds me when am lost
or the one who has me wait when I return before I find myself
which one are you
what are you
are you the one
oh hope