Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Shattered

It's everything. and nothing. It's everyone and no one. sometimes even I, am clueless to what's going on. have i distanced myself? really? why does that not seem like news to me. have i been overly quiet lately? i can't explain it, i can try but what does it matter you wouldn't understand anyway. i don't want you to try, it is ok.I survive, i tough it out. i hardly let on anything.but sometimes it hits the fan. tis ok to cry after all, right? it cleanses the soul, at least it does mine. i don't want to man up, i want to be my 'real' age, i want to cry because this end feels empty and yes there's a light at the end of this tunnel but i don't want to be the big guy again, i want to succumb to this and cleanse this soul. i don't want to 'fix' it. i've learnt sometimes i've to let it fall apart if it has to fall back in place.Am i forgetting something? no, i would not forget to count my blessings and thank God.someone out there is having it worse. i'm lost, i've gone to look for myself, should i return before i'm back, please have me wait.

19 comments:

gishungwa said...

"have i distanced myself? really? why does that not seem like news to me. have i been overly quiet lately? i can't explain it, i can try but what does it matter you wouldn't understand anyway."

that me right now!

feather said...

Been there, it seems more times than i'd want, but i've found that you can't be found of Him unless you're lost. every season of coldness only preceeds one of warmth.

Anonymous said...

"tis ok to cry after all, right? it cleanses the soul, at least it does mine"
oh yes it is!!

It haoppens to us all, that lost feeling where you're wondering what bladi happened..take your time and 'find yourself' ..we want you back!

(((())))) it'll be ok!

Klara said...

I feel u n it's good to cry it out! That's a good way to go a bout it!

Jadekitten said...

Go find yourself...and we shall be here when you get back. Go search,but do it slowly and kindly...and rest every once in a while...and when you still find yourself clueless, be gentle with yourself...when u find yourself teary, give into the tears...then pick up the pieces, wipe your face clean and smile. After all, you are alive, what could be more Blessed than that.

:-)

Anonymous said...

To search for oneself the reason for living...meaning...to cry when all seems lost...let it fall apart...then heal...count your blessings...all the best! I shall be right here....refreshing the page!

Simon Kitururu said...

Really deep!
Thanx for visiting me!

Ayomipo Matthew Edinger said...

recently, i thought: God, am so weak!

"Perfect!" He answered."Now, you can have My Strength".

Kafo said...

should i return before i'm back please have me wait


hmmmmm


you will be back the process begins when you realize that you aren't you anymore but a masquerading shell

so yeah u already did the hard part

eddiie said...

whoa...........this all tagged thing has been in the making and i think i have to drop you as well in the list of the tagged......

Anonymous said...

Strong sista. It always falls back.. I mean, it has to. Talk to me gal.

Three types of Crazy said...

I know such a feeling. When I am weak then He is strong. I have been told many times, "the Grace of God will not lead you where the Love of God can not keep you." He will carry you through an the best part is, with God, He doesn't want you to man up, He wants HIS CHILD.
Hope things start looking up for you. praying for you. waiting here for your return.

KM said...

Thanks for the comment...

And while you're waiting for yourself to get back from wherever you've gone -- please be patient! It's a process.

Peace and love,
KM

Nakeel said...

Crying cleanses soul. I hope you find yourself back sis and will be here waiting to welcome you.

Savvy Dreamer said...

guess wat.... you've been tagged!!!

lulu said...

eh, are you fine now? what is wrong? or was wrong....

Anonymous said...

My dear Sis..it is okay to cry at any age. Yes it cleanses the soul like you said and very therapeutic .I know you will be fine andI think you are already byt the time you read this comment ...right?
BTW you know I can provide a comforting shoulder to cry on..so never hesitate...Okay?

lulu said...

r u okay now?

Prettylyf said...

@Everyone-thanks for your relating, words of encouragement, I'm great and back, woot!