Tribute

I celebrate you today...

Truth outted by her
I hung my head
buried it in my hands
wept afresh for you

I miss you
still love you
still catch myself hoping..dreaming you were around
and oh how much I see you each time I walk
I bump into you
just every other day

Tell you some of the things I miss..?
the colored rice..
the tusker in the stew...
the hurried dinners...
the popped in movies to keep us awake till dinner was ready
the sa(n)dak whoopings

I try to block my eyes from seeing you
my mind from hearing you
your last words to me
our last words

I miss you
I love you
I still say a prayer for you
still mention you
to those close to me
I knew when you left, I saw it..you
but kept in denial

I asked God to let you eat
and finish your food
it tore me apart
when you were no more
It felt as though God had disowned me
as though He heard not my prayers..our prayers

I sacrified for you
I wanted you to live so so bad
I wanted to come back find you
if only I had known those
words were our last
that day our only together
return I never would have
but then again you would not have wanted that

I live on because I know
you look down on me..us
because when I look out my window
every night I know you are the brightest star
that shines, puts a sparkle in my heart

And when the stars are not out
It puts my heart at rest to know
you are at rest with the best
you taught me so much
may be not by words
but actions, just from watching you

I live on because now I know
even those things we think sometimes
matter, don't, not at all
now I know there's more, more
to this life

I see so much of you in me
and it keeps me going
I want to be just like you
and more
you know what..

I cry today
because I know you should have
lived on
I try to find a reason
but I succumb to tears
I'm lost
can still read the placard
I can still hear the soil
I see you


Sleep in peace

A mention

Hi I-

I know you don't know i do this and if you do well you've kept it pretty down low.

That morning at the beginning of the year I woke up with a crave to read you. I looked for you until I found you and what a coincidence? Almost a month after you'd written it for me i stumbled on it and I was elated. I was moved beyond words.

We've built on our friendship the past years and am glad our paths crossed. We don't talk as often as we once did but one thing is for sure we know when we need each other and that's when we write or call up. That's not us, that's not the kind of friendship we always had but isn't it true time does have a way to change things and i bet people too? life happens....days don't stay the same. All the same I love what we've created between us in the past years.

What you wrote me last thursday is just what i needed to come home to and read. I read it as tears flowed. I felt sad and humbled at the things you pointed out. The dreams, visions and aspirations you arose. Remember what we've always said "failure isn't an option" You were so on point there was not two ways about it

I went today, I cried each step there but I walked in and out only hoping for the best. I guess it's time to know and get on. Unfortunately or is it fortunately still they don't know what's wrong but at least i made the step right? Because I can't give up my hope, because I can't not give this faith that has brought me through tears and joy a fighting chance.

I truly thank God we're friends. I got your message and i'd love to call tonight as you requested but am somewhat a bit of a wreck what with waiting for the results to in tomorrow so wait it out with me. I know you will.