Saturday, March 31, 2007

Feng shui

The results are in. They could've been worse is all am saying and they're not. I'm going to be fine. I started on the meds but so far same difference. I'm graetful to God very much so.

I just finished feng shui. I feng shui'd my bedroom. I love my space. I hole up in there every minute i am home, literally. I love my privacy. I'll live, walk, sleep and eat solitude. Lately, I've be going through the motions and feeling very crowded. I had to clean out, make some space and get re-energized and feel at peace. I searched myself and now i've so much inner peace.

I'm the choices i make. My life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but I am well equipped for it if only I tap into my talents and gifts and allow them to blossom.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A mention

Hi I-

I know you don't know i do this and if you do well you've kept it pretty down low.

That morning at the beginning of the year I woke up with a crave to read you. I looked for you until I found you and what a coincidence? Almost a month after you'd written it for me i stumbled on it and I was elated. I was moved beyond words.

We've built on our friendship the past years and am glad our paths crossed. We don't talk as often as we once did but one thing is for sure we know when we need each other and that's when we write or call up. That's not us, that's not the kind of friendship we always had but isn't it true time does have a way to change things and i bet people too? life happens....days don't stay the same. All the same I love what we've created between us in the past years.

What you wrote me last thursday is just what i needed to come home to and read. I read it as tears flowed. I felt sad and humbled at the things you pointed out. The dreams, visions and aspirations you arose. Remember what we've always said "failure isn't an option" You were so on point there was not two ways about it

I went today, I cried each step there but I walked in and out only hoping for the best. I guess it's time to know and get on. Unfortunately or is it fortunately still they don't know what's wrong but at least i made the step right? Because I can't give up my hope, because I can't not give this faith that has brought me through tears and joy a fighting chance.

I truly thank God we're friends. I got your message and i'd love to call tonight as you requested but am somewhat a bit of a wreck what with waiting for the results to in tomorrow so wait it out with me. I know you will.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Lost

What do you do with your heart

when it doesn't speak to you anymore

silence is golden, yes,

but doesn't it get too loud sometime

yet other times it speaks volumes



Where do you go when

the voices that always wanted and

begged to be heard

cease


Where do you look

when you can't find the precious moments

when the memories once locked in your mind and soul

flee and are lost in the tide

swept away

and not a thing seems like it used to


Where do you go

when you don't know where

you're going and why


What do you do

when you wonder

if it's all worth it


How do you sleep

after you've lost your dreams

why do you sleep

if your nights are dreamless


What do you say

when there's much to say

but the words are lost

the words are nowhere to be found

the words don't seem sensible


What do you do

when the touch of magic is lost

when the beauty fades away


What do you do

when darkness settles in your safe heaven

causing the light to leave