Life

I have a boy twin. He's the big brother I have yet still the small brother to me. He is the most adorable and amazing man there is in my life. The brother I sat and wrote to one day in early June when my heart felt unsettled. That brother who sat down on the opposite side of the computer screen and typed back saying what made me happy made him even happier. Urging me to go ahead and do what my heart said. My heart said to leave. I woke and left alright. While everyone else thought I ought to have been a mess I smiled along and just seemed to move along and happily for what it's worth.

When I left I felt relief. No one could understand this. Why, relief? they pondered.

Lately I've been the happiest I've been. Everyone who knows me and even those who don't seem to get drawn into my joy. Not entertaining killjoys. You sail with me if you are as happy and happy.

But today's post is not about me you see but about my twin. He has done all of us proud. And now he is getting sent to the best trip ever as a reward. I just want him to know (and I already told him, one on one) how proud he has done us. How happy we all are of him. How elated we feel by his success. Go, kiddo!!!!

On another high note, today also happens to be the family angel's birthday. And that family angel would be none other than our baby sister. Happy Birthday, Lu!!! May you have many, many more and may you live to be the joyous, innocent, wonderful and cheerful thing you're. Thing and not person because I cannot believe how fast you've grown. In our eyes you'll forever remain our lil sister and baby that we all cherish and adore. Oh how you make us smile and laugh. You cute little thing you.

Ah imtellnya its nothing but joy and happiness lately. I pray it lasts. And because life is just that, life, I well know there will be days when I'll feel low and be down. But, on those days I pray I'll remember my days of joy and happiness and tap strength from them.

As much as this post is not about me, I want to thank my family and friends. Thank you, for standing by me during this year. It's been a trying year since 2008 clocked. It clocked on a snowy and very chilly night for me back East. I braved the night in my little black dress and as much as I had preferred to stay home, here I was out trying to look cheery and wish everyone a happy new year. Now I sit and the song that comes to mind is -Auld Lang Syne- should auld acquaintance be forgot? no they should be brought to mind, I sing along answering myself.

I digress, much gratitude to my family, the Jasso's, Shi and all the other angels God has put in my life. I can never give back what you've given me through this time but I just want you to know I pray for you and wish you only the best.

Heavy Rotation-Auld Land Syne
-Frank Sinatra's Irresponsible
-Who am I
-John Mayer's Continuum
-Rock4black (Courtesy of Supaflyshi)

Beauty of Life

Eyes half closed
still i strain to stay awake
it's been a long day
I played too hard today
my neck feels a little tense
my body shivers a little
still i am happy
very happy
this does not make sense?
even that is ok
once in a while
to be senseless
to laugh along
even when you don't get the joke
and then to laugh alone
when the joke's humor finally comes to you
only you're alone
but even to laugh alone
is perfectly fine
to reminisce
a joyful moment
to fall asleep fully clothed
to have some quiet
to crave aloneness
to have great, great friends
such my beloveds
such are the joys
and perks of life
such are the extra ray of sunlight on the foggy morning trying to beat the cloudiness and light up your day
such are the only star braving the sky to light up the whole wide world just so you
have something to wish on
such is the raindrop that chooses to fall on you head only for you to look up
and catch a glimpse of the most beautiful, most fascinating rainbow

Somebody New

"... And you and your twisted words, your help just hurts, you are not what I thought you were..."

Today,
just for today
I'll shut out the night's cold breeze
with my locked window
just for today I'll sleep with the music on repeat
all night long
just for today
I'll have the fan on to blow in my face
just for today
I'll let my mind wander on to tomorrow
just for today i'll let little girl in me be afraid of the dark
and so I'll leave the light on through the night
just for today
I'll let the child in me come out and play
just for today
I'll let my mind trick my soul
into believing there's a monster in the closet
and behind the shut door
just for today
and today only will I let myself think about the past
tomorrow
which is actually today
you'll see me
a new person
unafraid of what life throws at me
unshattered by what life puts me through
made whole by lessons and experiences
today I'll embrace both life's good and bad
so today
I'm smiling all the way
I'm pushing myself on towards my dreams and hopes
I'm cheering myself on as I draw nigh to the finish line
I'm getting through this tunnel fast
and way past that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel
today
here I am, out, out of the tunnel
do you see me? a new me

The world breaks everyone but some are strong in those broken places

The world has broken me
but am learning to be strong in those broken places
I come home
it's not the same here
there used to be portraits of a happy us here
there used to be warmth here
I used to look forward to this
Now I want to drag it out a little bit
until it's a tad darker than it already is outside
there are no more tears in me
my throat is dry
I tried to play pretend
tried to act like it came naturally
there used to be kisses here
laughter has been here
hugs once belonged here
now? not so much
no more
I just want to come in the dark and go to bed
want to wake up in the dark
and leave before I can catch a glimpse of you
before I can recount
before my mind tricks me to want it all back
before I remember I never really knew you
it used to hurt
happy stories have been written here
but happy or sad that's all in yesterday
today I've learned
and what to keep the lesson
that nothing lasts forever
but hope, hope in God
hope and faith for a better tomorrow

Carry me Lord. Carry me

Lost a little
crowded a little
clouded a little
we've not 'talked' in a while
but you listen still
in this big ol' world
amidst all the noise and clutter you hear me still
crowded as it is your arm reaches out for me
I can't see where I'm walking
I got lost
I can't trace my footsteps back to where I started
I know, I know you must be carrying
carry me, carry me
carry this confusion
carry this crowdedness
carry this cloudiness
carry this broken heart
carry this cluttered mind
carry this overwhelmed body
carry this broken spirit
carry me
carry all of me
Undo and re-do all of it, all of me
restore and renew
replenish and rejuvenate
revive and refresh

Hair dryer & Curling Iron MIA

This post was inspired by Scotchie's blog title about not finding her dryer. I don't lye my hair. Instead I braid it all the time. I shampoo and condition it even three times a week when braided. This past Saturday was the chuck-the-braids-day aka doom's day. Doom's day because after chucking the braids I pinch every single nerve on my neck. I like it when my hair is braided because it's take away from the already naturally hectic morning hassle.

So on Saturday I braced myself on the couch and in three hours chucked my braids. I do not know where for the first time I got this brilliant idea to chuck my braids, get my hair shampooed, conditioned and then straighten it out. I must have been tired or my mind was playing tricks on me because I managed to convince myself that my hair would look just fine and survive for the next two weeks after which I planned on getting it re-braided. The two weeks of straightened hair was meant to give it a breather before the re-braiding. Sure enough after chucking the braids I went and got my hair done and it looked great as expected. Sunday morning the genius in me went out running and by 11am my hair had shrunk and was a mess I could not fathom. Instantly my eyes got teary as I searched for my hair dryer and curling iron. I've not done my hair in a minute so the stuff was MIA or as I later recalled passed down to a girlfriend. I had to be somewhere at 1pm so I went to the store and bought a cheap one to make do. I did my hair Monday morning and after doing it this morning (Tuesday) I frantically called my braider and called off work because I could not stand it. My braider was booked all day so am scheduled to braid it tonight from 10pm and I work tomorrow at 7am. Wish me luck because tomorrow I'll be dozing off at work.

Lol did I just write a whole post on hair??? Talk about not been my hair.

Have a good hair week everyone!!!

Today I cried

My blinds are half drawn. My t.v. is on but on mute. I'm sitted on the floor, in front of my laptop, my legs crossed in my living room. My head hurts a little. My cheeks feel dry. Beside me sits a soaked Kleenex. I just had myself a good cry. My eyes are red and puffy. My lips, nose and throat feel dry. The room is dark, only lit my the t.v. light. I cried for a lot of reasons. I cried for every joy, every frustration, every time I've felt overwhelmed and not cried. I feel very sad. I need to make a lot of decisions. I called my best friend but I ended up getting off the phone b/c even he wasn't getting me. It's for a lot of reasons and no reason at all. A good cry cleanses the soul it is said. I hope mine is cleansed. This cloud too shall pass. I smile amidst this tears b/c despite getting harder as i draw near to the end of the proverbial tunnel I do know for sure things will get better. I do have faith and hope things won't always be this tough. I pray and trust God.

After all it is all part of growing up. Or is it?

Spring Break

• I've been on spring break for the last 10+ days
• Its been fun
• Doing lots of nothing besides staying under covers
• Sleeping in, eating and watching movies
• I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life
• Ok, I'm kidding
• It gets old after a while
• You get so used to waking up to an agenda of to-do things
• And then you've a week off and have absolutely no idea what to do with it
• I caught up on sleep
• And all my shows
• I love, love the comedy-How I met your mother-
• It was a fun time off
• I'm not thrilled to be going back to work and school
• But I'm also not sure I could hack staying indoors for another day
• Ok, I know I'll be taking all of these back on Monday
• But let's only dwell on now
• I'm counting down to the end of April
• Wow I've been learning growing up is totally something else
• I love it. All the responsibility and you know the whole shebang that comes with it
  
• Anyway I'm learning it's not really all it's made out to be
• Ok so there's the fun side of growing up
  
• And then there is pains of growing up
• I'm afraid growing up is more of an ongoing process than a stage you hit then it plateaus (which actually is what I always thought it to be for a long while)
• I'm glad it's ongoing b/c perfectly honestly I don't do well with time limits.
  
• I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense
• But growing up is a process I've been continually experiencing and also something that has been on my mind a lot lately
• Growing up. It's everywhere.
• It might be a bit scary but am learning to embrace it alright
• It's when you learn to make decisions
• It's when you learn to slow down and not be rash
• It's when you learn to hold a straight face and when to laugh it off
  
• It's learning the consequences
• It's keeping the lessons
• It's learning to work with what you have
• It's selflessness
• Growing up? it's a lot of things
• I could not possibly write them all
• But, I'm also learning that...
  
• It's also learning to pray without ceasing
• And seeking the best direction from God

Allergic to Spring

• How I got this lucky I'll never fathom
• I believe in God's blessings more than luck
• The only reason I like spring is b/c it's not winter. Period
• However, I like winter too. This is b/c I'd rather be cold than hot.
  
• I feel that I can control the cold by layering up
• But the heat? even if I strip nekkid I'm still hot and the discomfort drives me kukuz
• Don't get it twisted I love summer. Days by the pool, bbqs with friends and ice cold, tall drinks, late nights. I tell ya all the good things happen in summer!
  
• The only reason I loathe spring is b/c of the pollen and dust that comes with it. I get all clogged, my throat scratchy, my nose congested and runny. You name any allergy symptom and I'm it during spring.
• This spring is no exception
• For the past slightly over two weeks I've been one sick puppy.
  
• I always self-prescribe
• Y'know what they say about people in the medical field been the worst patients
• Yup that would be me
• Hospitals make me sick. But only when am in one as the patient
• It gets me when I've to go in there and get taken care of
• I'm used to been the care provider
  
• So anyway I self-prescribed until I realized I was getting worse
• I called my girlfriend who's a nurse and she collaboratively made some suggestions
• Off to the pharmacy I went and home I came laden with different medications to kill the discomfort
• I'm way better today than I've been in the last two weeks
• One night last week I called my dear moms (bless her soul) in tears. I could not fall asleep b/c I was getting SOB (short of breath). Yes, that's how bad my allergens get. Of course moms, being just moms stayed on the phone with me, even said a prayer for me
• The s.o.? I fell in love with him all over again that night. He was so worried and wanted me to go into urgent care but me? I wasn't budging. So he stayed there and repeatedly said a prayer for me over and over. I was feeling very sick. But amidst it all I had this huge grin on my face b/c I mean we pray together but this was different. I was so moved, literally moved. I wanted to feel better just so he'd know his prayers were heard. He was so cute saying it over and over. I listened until I fell asleep. I love, love, love him

Easter is here!!!

We make Jesus drag that cross
In our thoughts,
We crucify Him,

We put Jesus back on the cross
with our actions,
We crucify Him

We hammer nails on Jesus' hands
by our words,
We crucify Him,

We put a thorn-crown on His head
by who we are,in our personalities
We crucify Him

We crucify Jesus
again and again
everyday,
from season to season

Yet, He remains faithful
His grace sufficient
His mercies renewed
His love steadfast
His forgiveness ample
all these given us freely

But for how long can we crucify Him?
What do we do that crucifies Him?
How can we stop it?
Do we even want stop?

Happy Easter to You & Yours and God's blessings!!!

My life in bullets

• Thursday is the best day of my week. It's my night off. It comes before Friday, which just so happens to be my day off
• It's spring time. The pollen, dust and all that good stuff gets me all screwed up. I'm congested. I've a sore throat. I've a cough. A stuffed up nose. My sinus are out of wack. I'm OD'ing on NyQuil, Emergen-C, and generic Sudafed.
• Anything that will take the discomfort I'm subjected to.
• I had a miracle on Tuesday.
• God is real. He is awesome. He is the only person who NEVER disappoints
• ON Tuesday I went from laughing to suddenly crying then back to laughter accompanied by joy unspeakable. All thanks and praise to GOD.
• I can't wait for April.
  
• I need spring break to get here already
• Since I got my apartment I've been cooking religiously
• Since I got my place I now actually look forward to coming home
• I had my first code blue on Wednesday
• I walked out of my client's room. A minute later a different nurse came looking for me to tell me my client was dead
• Huh? he was a full code
• Never before have I seen so many docs crowded up in a private hospital room
• My moms has got to be not only the most amazing woman but also the best person in the whole wide world over
• My s.o.'s mum is also amazingly awesome
  

So my life is real and not all about poems

I don't know how to write posts. Honestly, I suck at doing the whole paragraph thing. Or may be it's the punctuation that just gets to me. So, let's just do it in bullets.

• I called my grandpa this weekend and he answered his cellphone. I was (and still) am thrilled. My grandma always picks it up then puts him on. But this time? it was different. Grandpa did all by himself. Woot!
• I do not like my job.
  
• I do not like my boss
• Well I don't mind her but on some days like yesterday I just want to stand up and yell "I quit" lol. Is that passive aggressive or anal-retentive.
  
• One of my pet peeves is people who misspell names
• My boss does
• Please explain to me how you suddenly decide to put a capital letter in the middle of my name
• Argghhh
• My s.o. and I've always lived in different parts of the world
• He's moving to town in less than a week
• I'm thrilled
• I'd love to go to Miami for Easter
• Both my BFF and I are broke and doubt we still won't be by Easter
• Tomorrow is GNO (girls night out)
• One of my girlfriends suggested PF Changs. WTH? she just killed the whole excitement. Now I do not want to go :(
• The class I'm taking right now is driving me insane. I just want it done. Everyday there's one more thing that needs to be turned in
• I finally decided on what to wear to my girlfriend's wedding. A black bubble dress, silver jewelery, silver clutch and silver heels. I do not want to look morbid with all black.
• I suck at punctuation. Can you tell?
  
• Most of my sentences are run-ons
• Most if not all my friends are older than me. The youngest is 10 years older.
• I have so much passion for church on Sundays. It's like my day's highlight.
• I can't bring myself to talk to my cousin. She broke some bad news to me in what I consider, a very uncouth way.
• She keeps paging me. I get missed calls from her all the time. It's been 20 days. I'm not holding a grudge, really, I just don't know what to say to her.
• I guess I'm just disappointed. I expected way better.
• I'm getting my own apartment. For the first time I can call a place my own. The lease is in my name. I called the gas & electric company and set up an account under my name. I'm beyond thrilled.

My Prayer to God for You

You're an awesome person
full of wisdom
your wise words speak volumes to all of us
we sit at your feet and are awed by you

Your pride in us
causes us to shed tears
that pride that we can find nowhere else
your way to let us know you're done proud by us
the way you tell it to others

I'm sad you're left alone
you made me smile this morning
this technology makes you wonder huh?
all things in due time you say to me

You'll make it
you'll sit there alone
after every last person has left
and you're going to be strong for her and us

I shudder at the thought of your being alone
I cannot close my eyes
and see you sitted there solo
I refuse to ponder your loneliness
you've always done us proud
and this time
will be no different

I'm praying for you
that God send his angels to your door
to console and comfort you
and keep you company

I'm praying you agree to eat
eat and finish all your food
remember what they said? you now have two plates
one for her and one for you

Each last one of us is watching
rooting for you
cheering you on
we well know you'll conquer this

My heart broke for you
when she told me how much you wept
but you'll be fine
tears will cleanse you
and bring you peace

I pray you warmth
when you go to bed each night
I pray you fall asleep fast
I refuse that you'll agonize over sleep
you'll sleep right through the night
and the birds' chirping will arouse you
every morning

I trust God and know
He has brought you to this
and will bring you through it
I pray you find the strength to keep going to mass

After all is said and done
after we all pretend how much we're holding it together for you
after we all cry in private to save you the sights
after we all toss and turn in agony before we fall asleep
after we all cry as we leave and hate ourselves for leaving you alone
after we send up prayers that you remain strong
after all these and much more
you'll be the one person we'll all look up to and draw strength from
you'll be the one person who will keep each of us going
you still we'll be our one guide
of this I've no doubt

My six

I was tagged by one of my fave bloggers, Pandave.

So here goes some six non-significant things/habits/quirks about me...

The Rules:
- Link to the person that tagged you.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

1. I've owned one dress for the longest period of time until recently (see:today). I'll be attending a wedding mid-March and I thought I should wear a dress. I'm really clueless, I got this dress and now am not sure I can find the shoes to go with it. Please leave links or/and suggestions on how to wear a dress and what kind of shoes go with it. And so just you know the dress is turquoise in color. I know, but I love turquoise.
2. I tried a new eyebrows waxing place and I like the way the lady did it. So, now I've ditched the place I've been going to for years for this new place.
   
3. I seriously think drinking coffee makes my face look older. I cannot stand to look in the mirror the morning after a coffee chugging night to stay awake at work.
4. I prefer my finger nails to my toes. My toes are cute in a very weird way. Whatever that means!
5. I'm not sure if I want to one day sell all my uni books or to just shelf them for reference
   
6. I concur with that crocs are ugly still I wear them b/c they are oh so comfy
   

I tag; Scotchie-b/c you always post to things I resonate with
Gish
3TOC
Nakeel
Modo
Jaycee

Rest In Peace

last night my heart broke into hundreds of pieces
oh no, you cannot be gone
why, could you leave?

I wanted one more call
one more blessing
one more hug
one more embrace

today I mourn you in constant weeping
do you watch down over us
i do not want to believe you're gone
it seems just like yesterday

sleep evades me
food has lost taste
thoughts of our last time together punish me

rivers of tears
I should have called more often
I should have sent up a prayer for you everyday

I did not forget you
do you know that?
i fought hard to accept
you what hand fate had dealt us
with you sudden illness

Oh I miss you so much
I want to be there
am sorry I cannot walk
your last walk with everyone
I am so sorry

Rest in peace
rest in peace
they tell me you're in a better place
with no pain
no anguish
I want to believe
I even believe
just not now

One more day
may be I would have called this weekend
it's so hard to accept
don't you see
that I never will hear that voice call me again

Why, you were so strong
and so full of life the last time i saw you
you hugged me and blessed me
and over the years you always blessed

Oh, why are you gone now
rest in peace

A Nation's Repentance

Today,
I come before thee
in acknowledgement that I am
unworthy of your favor
unworthy of your grace
unworthy of your mercies
unworthy Lord of thee
of thy goodness
and blessings
unworthy of your deliverance

I'm without a reason to table
for you to listen to me
I lack a way to make things right
I've turned away from thee
I've sinned and fallen short of your glory
I've sinned against thee

But Lord
they say saints are sinners who fell and got up
so today, I kneel down at your feet, Lord
because down at your feet is the most high place
I bow by knees, with a humble heart
in confession
and repentance
of my inquities
transgressions from generations before and after me
God I repent

Father, your word is a promise
sharper than a double-edged sword
God, you're true to your word
if we confess and repent
your promise is you are just and faithful
and will forgive us

Heal us Lord
heal us
heal our nation
create in us a new soul
take away our hearts of stone
give us a new heart of flesh
restore unto us the gift
of your salvation
renewerize your spirit within us

I lift my voice up to thee, God
cast us not away from your presence, oh Lord

I stand in the gap with every soul
to intercede for our nation, Lord
heal us
I cry
turn our ways from wickedness
from hatred
from injustice
from tribalism
from all ways, ungodly

Cleanse us
purify us
make us whole
restore our nation,Kenya, God

Praise

It came
with a slow start
painfully buried in tears
almost no strength to pull through
but you, God, saw me through it

Suddenly it seemed to pick up
dust off and rush right through
suddenly it was I trying to stay caught up
trusting you to keep track

I braved cold nights and days
dark nights and days
rainy nights and days
I trod many a path alone
alone but with you

I lay here today
eyes swelling up in tears
my soul, heart and my whole being
bursting out with gratitude
how can I ever give it all back
to you Oh my Lord?
I discern to strive, Lord
strive to live for you
by your laws
in my thoughts, actions, words and whole being

I cannot do it on my own
so help me Lord help me
to live for you
and in you

Thank you, Lord
I cannot put into words
everything you're to me
everything you've been to me
everything you'll always be to me
the miracles, Lord
big and small
the angels, Lord
you send my way

I cannot thank you enough
guide me through this new one God
pave paths for me
uplift me
uphold me
grace, mercy, love me
just one more time, God

How friendships are formed

I want to write this in a poem but don't know how. Therefore, I'm doing a post...

Friends and for the part real friends are hard to find. I mean they don't come easy. You don't just pick them beside the road, or in the bathroom while touching up on your make-up, or in class b/c your highlighter just ran out and the professor is giving the final's review, or in a restaurant when your friends and theirs don't show up and they or you end up sharing a table. You do get the picture where am going with this. Yet all thesituations I just mentioned could be the very beginning of lifetime friendships and/or relationships or stepping stones to better things/places in life

At some point during college I had to change from one cohort to another. The first morning of class is deeply etched in my mind. Saying I was devastated butchers how I felt. I remember calling my moms and crying on the phone minutes before I walked into class. I just wasn't ready to start all over again. I was broken that I was going to be the new girl in class and that I had to start from scratch. Funny, I should post about it b/c just on Monday night I was reminiscing about the months I've been through as this year nears its close. Anyway, I joined the new cohort and made new friends but there's always that one who you get along with better. At first it was simply about carpooling, going to the same place during lunch breaks, confirming assignments with one another. Then, before we noticed it we had moved on to inviting each other to our houses, doing dinner, meeting each other's friends and families, hanging out. When I flashback to the first morning of class with the new cohort I realize how much sans to say this friendship has grown

This morning said friend broke down and indulged me in what she went through with her family this past weekend. It's sad. She's disappointed and broken. I sat there and didn't know what was right to do or say. It was one of those situations where you're not only at a loss of words but even as your hand itches to reach out and touch to comfort it feels too heavy to lift. Or may be suddenly you feel like it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I mean you've not been in such a situation before so how can you relate? but she's your friend and you can see what the situation has done to her. I expressed my empathy to her

I don't know what am saying or where am going with this. In my heart am praying and hoping my friend finds a balance in all this. That she finds more strength and it makes her a better and wiser person. I hope she's back to her real self soon. I hope e'ryday she finds strength to feel less disappointment and the brokeneness goes away

I hope and pray despite all this she still has a merry xmas and enjoys the holidays

A Heart's Ache

The streets are abandoned
deserted
cars safely tucked in parking spots
and garages
laughter finds its way into the empty streets
laughter from houses filled
with warmth from family and friends
in feasting
You and I torn apart by the distance
tears tease to spill from my eyes
I choke and cough to stop them
stop this feeling that consumes me and takes residence in me
I'm thinking of you
In my mind, soul, and heart
am grateful for the days and nights we've been together,
the times we've shared
cherished and savored
in this cold and sadness that now resides in me
our memories keep me warm
memories of times we've dined and wined together
of times we've hugged and kissed
of moments we've bopped our heads in rhythm to music that has grown on us
so today despite our been far far apart
I want you to know that I've never loved you more
I tap strength from this aloneness
In spirit we're together
You're sitted right here beside me
We're cuddling and smiling at the joy of being together
we're holding hands
we're hugging really tight as though our lives depended on it
we're saluting each other with a click of our wine glasses

Of growing old...

My birthday is coming up. It's actually on Sunday. Yes, apparently I'll be 23 in four days. How cool is that? Umh I'm not sure why am growing so old so fast but still am excited :) Well may be not exactly excited(at least not about the growing old bit) but content at where I am in my life.

I didn't know what to write so I just compiled something silly (below). I'm awed at how revealing my posts have been as evidenced by the 'poem' below. You want to know one more thing about me? I'm out of school for a whole month? It's so surreal. I'm sleeping in at the slightest chance. Oh I'm so turning 23 in style. Imagine a month's break from school? What am I gonna do with myself? Ideas welcome. For the last few days I've been trying to get caught up on my reading (not school books). I'm currently reading the Kite Runner thanks to SisBigBones for recommending it :)

I thank, you, for reading my amateur poetry. Each of you has given me mojo to keep attempting to put words together. Words that you've come back over and over again and read and surprisingly commended me on. I'm humbled.

Your swinging by my blog has somewhat in a way beyond you and me contributed to my being this year and for that to, you, I'm grateful.

I know as you read this you're in stitches because this is me coming out of the closet and telling you despite my putting 2-4 words in four line paragraphs(otherwise called poems) I actually cannot write or put together a post. I shall not intricate things by divulging you on my many failed attempts at paying someone to write my term school papers. I cannot begin to put in words the joy that has transcended my existence each time I've done the reference page of any of my term papers. If written in supposedly the correct order the reference page should come last. Incessantly my self motivation or lack of thereof has led me to start my term papers backwards. Yes, I always type my reference page first. I know it's simply out of this world. As I said my many attempts at writing have undoubtedly failed but my obstinate nature won't badge. I shallow not succumb. So, laugh all you want. LOL

Happy Birthday to all ye Scorpios out there!!! Pandave hope you have recovered enough to enjoy your birthday :)

After all is said and done...My dears I give you yet another of my amateur pieces.Enjoy...

Another year has come and is almost gone

Just like the other one

Each day brings the close of this year nigh

Her mind unabashedly goes back in time

Revisiting her past

she sits alone

lets her body, soul and mind

go back, back into times gone

tears stream down her face

as a smile forces its being on her lips

lighting up her face

almost like the sun shining in the rain

bittersweet memories

flood her whole being

lost in time

she recounts each sunrise and sunset

watches herself walk down each road

good and bad

paths of peace, quiet and joy

others trod of brokenness, tears and pain

sometimes letting herself stay down

longer than she should

others picking herself up, dusting herself and moving on

all lessons learnt

no mistakes,just lessons

halting at moments of triumph and joy unspeakable

overwhelmed by times of sheer exhaustion

at times succumbing to aloneness

sometimes counting on others to pick her up

filled with unsurety

sometimes even letting her guard down

mastering the strength to reach out to others for comfort

then taking out time to recuperate

all the while leaning on God

sometimes allowing her feelings to show

often letting go, to let God

her beloveds always at heart

at times to burdened to tell the difference

reminding others to see the good in themselves

commemorating her passed on dear ones

accepting life's lemons

but still living for the moment

soldiering tough times

allowing herself to purge some things in her life

remembering to be appreciative

some days overcome by darkness

grieving her patients

being in love

Of all people missing her the most

wishing each of you(readers/bloggers/friends/everyone out there reading this or not) the very best