My 2009

Oy! Idk where to start. This has been quite the year. As I write this the 70's show is on. I just stepped out of the shower after nursing a bad migraine all day. Now as I sip on my first drink to kick off this not so merry season it's not as chilly a blessing I'm grateful for today.

I vividly remember this time last year. I was at church for the Christmas service w a friend. On the actual Christmas day I had gone to the theater and watched Will Smith's Seven Pounds en route to a Christmas dinner w a friend's family before work that night. On New's year eve I was out of town w friends enjoying a few strawberry confusions. Now that I think about it I could really use a strawberry confusion nevermind the rum lol really anyone up for dinner at BJ's?

If there's something I've learned this year is to live life to the fullest. Cliche right? still that has been a lesson that has been reinforced over and over to the point of me yelling "I get it!!!" at the top of my lungs from too many tragedies this year :( I've gotten on my knees and prayed. I've prayed that yes I'll live today as if it were my last day (and yeah failed immensely), I'll love them more, forgive before sunset aka hold no grudges, I'll call everyone often, say I love them at the beginning of each conversation but not in a rushed way at the end, I'll hold my hand over my loved ones' mouth and say they do not need to repeat it but really I do love them and remind them how much they mean to me, I'll pray more, read my bible more, dance more, live a little more, kiss with my eyes closed, hold hands under the covers, not go to bed angry. And so I've done at least tried my best. Until that call or/and message has come and thrown me off over and over again, trusted less, the sacred has been torn from me/us and yet the world has gone on like my loved ones never lived nor existed expect to us. No fair! I digress.

Still there have been a lot more blessings like him and how he will comb the streets to find me a malt and not just the good ol' plain shake. My beloved family and friends. The perfect song for every moment, hours and hours of phone calls w my very extraordinarily loving mom, the great relationship I have w my mom, my siblings and how awesome and amazing they are, my paps because he knows to say the right thing each time we talk, a chilled glass of red, answered prayers, endless sex & the city seasons and episodes, my 2nd boyfriend tivo (oh how I love him), shoes, boots and scarfs, a shaken not stirred drink, cheerful text messages, calls that have lifted me up and loving messages, tights and long tees, my couch which I sleep on more than my bed, a walk in closet, long and passionate kisses, hugs, hugs, hugs, old-fashioned letters in the mail (ha!) a bowl of oatmeal w lemon (m'm! m'm! m'm!), readers like you, clean crisp bedsheets, good books, long walks w my Shi on the phone, great, never ending, sometimes very random conversations that have kept us up almost and even all night w my Shi, graduation and a blissful month w the folks during the summer, my zune, oh my zune how I love you lol, stupid moments, the amazing GodChicks daily steps devotional *ty to MoMo*, ahhhh facials w MoMo, great reads (posts) on your blogs, perfect fitting bras, and I could go on and on and on and never stop so please you must allow me to stop here and go no further.

Yet I'm ready for 2009 to end hoping it takes with it this year's tragedies and brings some brand new blessings upon us and ready to see 2010 turn things green again for my family and I and you too!!!

I dare not forget our fallen beloved loved ones. I'm certain w/o a doubt this Christmas you're ALL in a much much more merrier place kicking it w the angels and your souls are resting in unfathomable peace.

RIP Aunt Catherine

RIP Grandma Alice

RIP Uncle John

RIP Uncle Joe

RIP Grandma Rachel

RIP Uncle Ben

RIP Uncle Joel

RIP Cousin Ben

This is for our fallen 'soldiers' we miss you although you gone we with you...gone 'from battle field' life is so fcuking real. We don't want more funerals...don't want more burials

Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad :)

I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas & an exceedingly prosperous New Year!!!

Christmas at Grams

I'm back to working the night shift and I love it.

This morning I sat in the lounge sipping on a cup of green tea awaiting the am shift to come and take over. Somehow I managed to sit myself right in front of the calendar which in all its glory and magnificence paraded the month of December for me to spectate on. I wasn't a happy spectator to say the least because it had not only been one of those nights at work but also because Christmas ceased to be my best time of the year a while back.

But as I sat there as if to spite me Christmas memories haunted me. And as much as am not one to do a Christmas post. This time one seems uncharacteristically apropos.

Growing up as a kid Christmas was big. I vacillate between the reasons why Christmas was so infamous back then. Besides Jesus been the reason for the season, of course. Not to mention the two new outfits. One for Christmas day and the other for Boxing day (12/26) But also that whatever my siblings and I had wanted and could not get throughout the year now suddenly seemed so easy to coax out of the folks. Now that it was Christmas.

I remember us bringing out the tree from the storage and putting it up along with all the other Christmas decor. As soon as the tree was up and running so was the Christmas music whose crooning filled up every corner of the house and the warmth that escaped the oven from all the baking that went on in the kitchen. It was all merry, good cheer, laughter, giggles and fuzziness. The house phone also seemed to ring off the hook from everyone calling to convey their season greetings. Cards wishing us a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year arrived in the mail from family and friends. During the Christmas season we were also allowed to play outside a while longer than other days.

The week before Christmas my siblings and I would be glued in front of the TV eagerly awaiting the weather forecast session that usually followed after the day's News. So anxious were we to find out if it'd rain on the sacred day or would the gods of nature grace us with sunshine.

We'd leave the city country-bound for Grams house on the eve of Christmas. Grams house was the place to be over Christmas you see. After all, all the cousins would be there and the aunts and uncles as well. Grams had the Christmas feast planned and the festivities would be underway the minute we pulled in. Plenty to eat and drink and a lot of games to play with the cousins made it that much better.

But nothing lasts forever and so our childhood didn't because at some point we grew up. And life got in the way of everyone been available to converge together at Grams on Christmas day. All of a sudden other plans seemed more important and going to Grams took the back seat. Surely, she and grandpa would understand. After all we had been going nonstop and back to back all those years. We'd make a point to go the next year or as soon as things were less hectic we promised. Like that was ever going to happen. As if it wasn't enough to break the Christmas tradition, Grams passed away early this year. I'm certain Christmas will not be the same with her gone. Not like I saw her in the last couple of years but because despite how far away I was during Christmas I always made a point to call. My friends laugh when they scroll my phone book and see I've my Grams and Grandpa's cellphone number.

Still I'll call and wish Grandpa a Merry Christmas. He must be lonely *sigh* but he is a strong man and am sure just like every year for the past 70 plus years he will wake up and go to mass. Oh, grandpa, I love you and pray for God to be your strength and solace

So those are my Christmas memories. What are yours?

Oh yeah this year am working on Christmas day so I'll probably come home, shower, crawl under the covers and sleep away the day. The last time I worked on Christmas day was in 2005 so it should be interesting.

Merry Christmas!!!