Those days

There are days when I feel ready to begin
then there are others I feel most unprepared

There are times when all I do is ball out my eyes
then there are others i laugh my ribs into pain

There are days when nothing seems to make sense
then others when am the one pointing out to others
how much sense everything really makes

There are days when I need not a reminder that tough times don't last
and that better days are nigh
then those that I've to be reminded, it has to be hammered into me
it has to be rubbed all over my face
I have to be made sit and reminded I know this, that I know better
that I've said it to others, that on most days it's what I walk, talk, eat

There are days when I've a clue
others am just so lost and clueless
others I just zone out

There are days when I can't wait to awake
others I want to stay under those covers
stay underneath forever

There are days I'll talk
others I'm quiet, withdrawn,behind my walls
searching, finding
contemplating

There are days am upto to everything
others I just want to sit and do nothing
just look into space, get lost in my own fantasies

There are those days
then others
and until i'm jolted back to reality
It's either one

When I get on my knees
when I bow this head
When in discreet I whisper away a prayer
When I murmur to myself
God intervenes
see I can't explain how
but I do know for sure
there's power in a prayer

There's revelation when I wait on God
there's success when I involve Him in my life
there's excellence all around me
there are breakthroughs

I find answers,
to all my questions...

Have a blessed and beautiful weekend!

Stillness & Quiet

Still my heart,
Oh Lord,quieten the turmoils
within.

Give me peace,
Oh God,
release the rest
you intend for me.

Silent... oh God,
all the urges
and voices that push me...
to move on and on
without stopping,
without resting...

Still me down,
my Father,
hold me to your hands,
remove my cares, burdens, and heavy wearies...
and be there in the silence with you...

God, silent me,
still me,
slow me down,
deal with that rush...that is somehow within
this heart of mine.

A walk remembered

Call me if you feel 'funny'
she says
stop I tell her
I won't

I don't think about it
until the time comes

We gather,
then disperse

We walk
our laughter fills the air
a step a head of everyone
I wonder
will i hear those laughs again
will we do this again
laughter penetrates the quiet, calm night

You're so quiet they always say
are you ok?
how are you feeling today?
my answer, always the same
just simply, ok

I get off,
look around,
a tad darker
a tad quieter
a tad more scared than I was yesterday
may be, really I should find a different way to do this

No, my alter ego argues
you've done it so many times
what makes today different

Left hand in pocket, right out
I start the stroll
at first i quicken my steps
then i think to myself
easy does it
slowing myself down
I take a deep breath
I can do this
through Christ who strengthens me
who watches over me and keeps me safe, secure

He is going to watch over me
Him who watched over me yesterday
Surely,He will watch over me, He who
has watched over me all these years

The night is asleep
the streets abandoned,
the roads empty
do i hear voices?
i turn around,
my right hand getting a tighter grip

Stay focused, I tell myself
you're almost there
my eyes dart around in the dark
I can't wait to get there

I'm almost there,
I see it around the bend,
I'm home, safe,
I kneel beside it
and thank God

He has planted guardian angels
on paths i trod
because He already knows where I shall trod today

He can stay but unless HE stay
I won't be safe, I'd rather HE stay
so goodnight my love

I've realised what I'd do without God
NOTHING
I'm nothing without God

Faith or Hope?

Hope is wishing for something to happen. Faith is believing something will happen. This year I choose faith. I choose to trust and believe God through all my situations and circumstances.

On a different note...

This past christmas I had a brilliant time! It was the best I've had since 2003. Now is that long or what? I know it's kinda sorta a bit late to be writing about christmas but hey it's my journal so I call the shots LOL j/k. Moving on...my xmas and new years' was awesome. I spent it with my 2 closest friends and the BF. Those I hold close to this heart. We hadn't seen each other in a minute. So it was a reunion-come-everything wonderful! We had a beautiful time. I hadn't laughed so hard in forever. My heart hadn't been filled with so much joy in a long time. We re-lived our moments together from way back and took hundreds of pictures. I give it to you for taking care of me and making sure I had loads of fun after a stressful year. I love you with all of me and I wouldn't pick other bestfriends if I had to re-do it. You rock and then some. Each one of you is a God-sent and each day when I kneel beside my bed even when I am feeling overwhelmed and on the edge and don't know what to say to God I do say a prayer for each one of you. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Thanks S,J & L. Hugs and kisses. Here's to more times as such!

Muchas amor mi amor y mi mejor amigos

When God whispers your name

I choose love
no occasion justifies hatred
no injustice warrants bitterness
I choose love
Today I'll love God and what God loves

I choose Joy
I invite God to be the God of circumstance
I refuse the temptation to be cynical
I refuse to see people as anything less than human beings,
created by God.
I refuse to see amything less than an opportunity to see God

I choose peace
I'll live forgiven
I'll forgive so that I may live

I choose patience,
I overlook the inconveniences of the world
Rather than complain the wait is too long, I'll thank God for a moment to pray.
Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I'll face them with joy
and courage

I choose kindness
I'll see God in everyone

I choose goodness
I'll go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I'll be overlooked
before I'll boast. I'll confess before i accuse
I choose goodness

I choose faithfulness
Today I'll keep promises

I choose gentleness
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise
If I clench my fist may it be only in prayer
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself

I choose self-control
I'll be impassioned only by God
I'll be influenced only by God
I'll be taught only by Christ
I choose self-control

Love,joy,peace,patience,kindness, goodness,faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
to these i commit my day
If i succeed, I'll give thanks
If I fail, I'll seek His sufficient grace
renewed mercies, unfailing and steadfast love

I say a prayer

I said a prayer,
on sunday,
prayed you'd help me get over it
prayed you'd let me give up the denial
prayed you'd take away this pain

I sent up my petition,
sent it up to God in prayer
begged Him to accept my ammend
to forgive my confession and repentance

I said a prayer last night
begging you to help me stop doing it
I said it again this morning
in dire need of your intervention, Lord

I am sending a prayer to you God
praying you help me let it go
let you be in charge

I am sending a prayer up
to you God
praying you take charge
praying you grant me peace

I am sending a prayer up
my eyes lifted to the heavens
blinded by tears
in need of strength
in need of patience

I send a prayer up,
to you Dear God
to remember orphans, widows
and widowers

I am sending a prayer up
to one who hasn't a prayer trash can
for peace in the world
for power of love
and not
love of power

I send a prayer up
up for those who ail
those in pain,
the sick,
that Lord you make them whole
that by Thy stripes they be healed

I am sending a prayer up,
up for broken families
and whole families
that only you,God, be the head of each family

I send a prayer up
send it up to the Lord
for peace and strength to the bereaved

I am sending a prayer up
up to you Lord
for the deceased souls to rest in peace

I send a prayer up
up to my father in heaven
for each child
for each one of them is His

I am sending a prayer up
up to my provider
for everyone, every single soul in the world
that God remember each one of us

I send a prayer up
up on behalf of the needy
that Dear God only you meet our needs

I am sending a prayer up
lifting my prayer up to the Lord in meekness
for any prayer I have forgotten
that you remember it and fulfil it

I send a prayer up
my hands lifted up to worship God
my knees bent at God's feet
my head bowed
my eyes closed
i send a prayer of gratitude
a prayer of thanks,
for each prayer answered
and even unanswered

I send a prayer up
that above all
only your will oh Lord be done
because in humility i realise only then
is the best in me and everyone brought out