Why you?

I keep forgetting why we're gathered here? Why we are on international calls day and night? why we must fight to pick a wooden casket over a cast iron one? why my head has hurt since Tuesday? and why I can't seem to get off my feet? and why when I go to bed and close my eyes I see you and can't fall asleep? why there are tears in my eyes constantly? why I've missed class and work all week? why strangers have been calling with their sympathies? why we had to go out and buy the condolences book on Tuesday night? why we keep going shopping everyday and each morning we wake up we are out of food and have to start over? why she sits by me and says she wants to die to? why all these people are here? why I keep seeing you standing at the edge of my bed, in a corner in a room yet really can't join in? why you will NEVER walk in through that door again? why your car is parked up front and yet you're not home? why God had to choose you? why someone else drove the car you drove to work the previous night home that day? why we'll NEVER see you again? why? why? why? why? why